Shaq to Kobe

"If you've got a Corvette that runs into a brick wall, you know what's gonna
happen," he said in a halftime interview on ABC's "Monday Night Football."
"He's a Corvette. I'm a brick wall. So you know what's gonna happen."

Mango Haze Madness

SCOREBOARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eat my shorts you scum sucking pig. I left a turd down there for you. Its all yours....no longer will I be winning second place in serie b finals.

Hey Joel, wanna write a wrap? If anyone does, be sure to include the fact that GM "The king of comedy" Braun went down, just as I predicted. I predict GBL falls like chopper predicts murders in his novels.....

Newsflash: Barring any lightening strikes, jali time or lottery wins, I will moving into the residence of GM Ross, establishing the first multi GM Euro office. I love expansion, I love consolidation, I love this game, Micky jutz - another big up to you! I loved the announcement....Out of Office: Hi, Im on paternity leave...... what about Out of Office: Hi, I just had a f*cken kid!!!! wooo hoooo! Couldnt care less about your email, coz Im still cleaning the mess up.....

Im rambliing.....smoked some mango haze before......

rock on
damaged

The Book

No action - 2 to 1

Sneaky pash - 3 to 1

BJ - 7 to 1

Bang - 10 to 1

Hot dogs/Ski jumps - 15 to 1

Date rape including all of the above - 4 to 1

Photos….priceless!!!

The Preparation

Gentlemen
Just back from the gym and tucking into ANOTHER protein bar berfore i go for a run and keep eating then gym again at 8pm....fast tracking...you betcha!
Thnaks for the lowdown Show....will that "pussy cat" on the downlow for Showno;) But might drop it as a throw-away line like "Fancy another drink, pussy cat?" And then start the "How weird that i just knew that" and the old "It feels like we have known each other for so long"...Yep...traits of a player now P.I.M.P.

Mick Maestro is right.....this is a Grand Final but i reckon with my charm, boyish good looks, loads of champagne, truckloads of Class-As and maybe a rohypnol....i can nail the deal and get the Norm Smith! The spirit of Gary Ayres is in me!

J-Fred.....please make sure we save the emails for Base as he would be proud that a fellow Aries has taken the baton and gone up a level...more GOLD!

Should we run a book of odds to see where i will finish up?

I'm Lovin It
E:)

The Skinny

Name: Rebekah Parmar Teasdale

Vital Statistics
Height: 5 ft 3/1.59
Bust/Chest: 34'' (86cm) C
Waist: 24" (61cm)
Hips: 34'' (86cm)
Hair Colour: Brown
Eye Colour: Brown
Origins: Birmingham

PERSONALITY:Flirty
SOCIAL:Party Girl
MEN: Beefy
BETWEEN THE SHEETS: Pussy Cat

The twenty three year old birmingham girl isn't just a pretty face,
lovely bodied, pouting sex goddess, nope this girl has other skills too.
Rebekah makes a bloody good club DJ too.

Fresh from foreign soils, Beks is spending summer nights tacking up
the hems on her new website while knitting a selection of cosy, glam snaps.
"I'm just back from Antigua, where I've been getting a load of new
pictures together for my site. They're a real hoot. Loads of swimwear,
and even me with my boobs out. The site's going to be great. There'll
be a diary, information about where you can see my work and even a
live chat every month."

The GF Cup

E-Mac's Grand Final

My Fellow GMs
Just wanted to let you know that i just got THE call.... a Croatian Playboy centrefold is djing at Yum Yum this Sat nite and GM Mac has been asked to take her out for dinner and show her around town....TRUE!

She plays at The Cross in London with my old mate, Norman Jay and is in town for one nite only! I guess she hasn't really seen Melbourne until she has been to Mercy Mercy.......i can see GM Cotton's massive grin right now....aint no fun fellas....la di da di da....it's the one and only...E-MAC!

Yeah.....we dippin again
GM MAC

GM Wise Wins It All - 2001 

E-Mac Wraps

Good Morning Fellow GMs

From working on my thesis for 8 hours straight and downloading some of the finest P.O.R.N., i thought i would take it upon myself and use what little initiative i have to kick-off this season's GBL Wrap-Ups (GWU). Make that a 100 point bonus for initiative Commish Wald!

After the disaster that was Cotton-gate last year in reference to the 6 month wait for GM Cotton's wrap, i propose we do not go in alphabetical order this year and just be a lot more casual and just nominate when you want to do it with a closing time of 5pm Friday. If then no one chooses to write the wrap, then the Commish can summons someone to do it. Agreed? Great!

Well, without any further ado, here we go!

Setting the pace and wearing the yellow leaders’ jersey after Week 2 are the No Look Confusion Makers. GM Base is extremely happy with his team and rightly so!
Upside: GM Base knew he was onto something magic come draft night and was so confident of his team that he was taking bets on his skilled back-court of B-Diddy &Ray "Pretty Boy" Allen. They have been good but the man showing all his Teutonic talent (Nowitzki) has been great. (Note: Teutonic means German Brauny!)
With a co-starring role by the Big Z, this team looks very impressive.
Downside: Could be in trouble as B-Diddy has hurt his back and Posey has been stomped by an Afri-can!
GM Base in uncharted territory as the leader but only time will tell as this GM would have a draft every time he loses top spot on the ladder if he had his way.
Blow the siren now Base!

GM Fredman was quietly confident as he took Kobe at pick 3 and quickly became the bookies' pre-season favourite for the title at draft night. Ride 'em Ko-boy is mos definitely ridin' high!
Upside: Amazing team with Finals MVP Billups and "Roughrider" Bryant in the back court, Stojakavic knocking down treys and big bad Zach Gat-Attack rat-a-tat-tat Randolph bulling down big boards and numbers joined by Magliore in the guts.
Fine all-round team.
Downside: Will Peja get enough points as C-Webb will want to be the man at Sacramento, and can Kobe and Zach stay out of trouble or will be they make their own private video?

The Worthy Extensions are having a decent season as they faded terribly after a great first-half performance last year and have recently acquired VP of Operations -
Lil Kim (see attachment) in order to inspire the team and keep it even mo gangsta.
Sitting nicely in third, this could be their year if they can find some consistency in the back court.
Upside: Duncan doing what he does best and being a superstar, with Odom and Nash finally starting to step up and be more consistent and really starting to play to their potential. All potential 25 – 30 FB pts players.
Downside: Allen "The Answer" Iverson keepin it too gangsta and taking 400 shots a game for 5 pts or less. How do you control a crazy n%gga like that? Smoke em?
Iverson is the unofficial barometer at the Extensions' franchise, cos if Al is hot, they be partyin' til da break of dawn but if he aint, slugs will be ringin out!
Plus Blount at centre just makes up numbers and might be used as trade bait.

The Straight Ballin camp has been a real cinderella story so far and GM Showno must be very proud of his charges as they have run up the league ladder in the last 4 days and do not look like stopping. Full arks to GM Showbitch for his poise and calmness.
Upside: The back court of Franchise and Lebron is starting to click for serious FB points, and GM Showbitch's decision to take Lebron early is starting to pay dividends as LBJ is having a real breakthrough year. I wonder if GM Cotton is missing his lovechild...Plus the rookie Okafur is getting some serious game time and now Jermaine O'Neal is off the IL and already is shaking some ass!
Downside: Rashard Lewis desperately finding some form from last year and Franchise being a bit more consistent and less time with hookers at Disney World and Jermaine staying injury-free.Okafur will get better as the season goes.

The Zen-master, Makita Mate of The Day and GM of Halves & Doubles, GM Entwisle obviously knew something no one else in the GBL did as he took Yao Ming with pick 2 in the draft. Some GMs were initially shocked but it is starting to pay off as the world's tallest spring roll is starting to look the part and get some game going in Houston.
Upside: Yao finally getting into some great form and realising that he made the right choice and stuck at basketball instead of diving. Starbury starting to school punks and wax em at the point with his mad streetball skillz, plus Boozer gettin rowdy at his new home and playing well as is Maggette. Dangerous if they click.
Downside: GM Entwisle must be worried as Harrington is struggling to find some form and really needs a consistent run by his players.
Which Yao will turn up this week? He needs to be angry Yao and get Starbury, Maggette & Boozer more big games to star in.
How do you make that happen? Dunno, can't help ya!

Next is D.Man aka GM Hodges who is having a real breakthrough sophomore season in the GBL.That is, when he is not entering men or getting fingered by itchy niggaz pulling da trigger.But hey, we at the GBL are pro-Gay rights and fully support naked push-ups before games too!
Upside: Dynamite team with the jewel in the crown, NO:1 draft pick, KG. No one better than him! Great support cast of Jefferson and Wade who has been on fire in his sophomore year.
Downside: Lost Wade for a couple of games with an injury and does show a big hole in FB points.Wallace and Dampier must lift. Cannot afford to let KG get hurt or the bottom falls out and he is worth two players.
A real contender for the ring and the Ithcy & Scratchy show in London could be celebrating a GBL title. Might not be able to contact GM Hodges as he will probably lose another mobile phone after a session down at his local.


Reigning GBL champion, the Dunne No Honkies, raised a few eyebrows when they controversially drafted Matt"Vanilla Ice is my daddy"Harping as the very first white player in franchsie history.
Is this part of a cunning plan by GM Dunne or just too many beers at draft night?
Upside: Shaq starting put up good numbers and Melo getting some confidence and dominating games. Stoudamire also getting in the numbers -- that's Amare!
Bibby showing his smooth skillz and taking control.
Downside: Can Shaq-Daddy stay fit all season and take control in the paint?
Bibby to step up his game and Melo & Amare to string a few big games together.
Oh yeah...and Harping to "develop".
Never count the LC out as he will find a way to out-fox opponents and defend his title. Very sharp and never to be taken lightly.

More than any other GBL franchise, S-Tac's OGs have great expectation levels as GM Cotton begins their pre-season and vigorous training sessions early and really researches his draft with such precision and is always very thorough. However, has GM Cotton over-exerted his charges and exhausted himself?
Has he blown his dome one too many times?
Upside: Pierce is looking good and putting up some big numbers. Brand is supporting him nicely as is Brad Miller. Plus good cameos from Miller at guard.
Downside: Time to hollar for a Marshall as the aching bones of Donyell are starting to show with him doin nada for the OGs. Also, GM Cotton will want a lot more from the Millers and Brand to be more consistent. Expected to take Lebron and let him go indicating the love for LBJ has gone.
GM Cotton is a very savvy operator and expect to see some sharp deals before next draft night and some fresh faces on your video screen!

The leagues' latest expansion team, A-dam Katastrophe, started very nicely but is starting to feel heat in the big league. GM Ross has been well-received by the GBL massive and is slowly finding his feet and slowly getting used to this alcohol & drug-induced, abuse-riddled fine league of ours.
Upside: Ben Wallace doing his thang as best he does and J-Kidd to come!
Plus Artest using his real skillz to pay da billz when he applies himself.
GM Ross has great access to primo chronic and will be smoking like Cheech & Chong with Commissioner Wald.
Downside: Finley -- is he playing? Tough draft pick as was Kidd who is injured and wants to leave his team. Artest wants to be LL Cool J and may find himself eventually in a white jacket on a farm. Whilst Jamison needs to be more consistent and show us what he is capable of every night. Welcome GM Ross to the headaches of life in the GBL! Enjoy your stay!

GM Braun must be shittier than a night on the curry and his team,GM Bollywood.
Came out the blocks hard and now the blocks have stuck to his feet and he is sinking.
Upside: Kirrilenko looking like a genuine All-Star with some great performances early doors.
T-Mac loving life in his new home as he has found his scoring touch and also looks good.
Downside: T-Mac injured means a massive hit to the Bollywood franchise.
Also, Webber has been inconsistent, is getting old and does not look like the same player he once was --- needs to lift as does Arenas who is having a very quiet season. Mo money, mo problems? And then there's Theo Ratliff who must also lift at centre. Looks like some serious trade activity is need by GM Braun to life this franchise out of the cellar.

And lastly, GM Wald aka The Commish must be wondering if he has taken too much responsibility as he needs to wear his GM hat and focus on the Amster-Damaged franchise who are placed last.
Upside: GM Wald gets the best Class-As in the world...cheap! And the finest chronic too!Got some fine players in Marion and Gasol who are able to put up massive FB points.
Downside: Some fine chronic may have impaired GM Wald's judgement at the selection table at draft night. Collier could not defend a tree stump and must be shown the door.Vinsanity and Sam the Alien must lift and are looking like they are not interested. The Commish must try to focus on his team from his haze of fine chronic and sexy Swedish hotties on his lap and in his jacuzzi. Needs to bust some major trade deals and cannot wait for draft night and his dealer to come round. Draft night will probably take a lil longer!


Good Luck to all GMs and keep on bangin!

GM“California Love”MAC
Worthy Extensions – “Just another day for Dre”

GBL Draft Report

If Draft Night’s anything to go by, we have an action packed GBL season ahead of us.

 

GM Fredman ably took up the reins as Draft Co-ordinator and organised an expert update on the current injury list from a medical professional…NURSE!  If you know what I mean…

 

After having his glasses liberally smeared across the stripper’s crotch, I’m sure Dunnie has a nasty case of cuntjunctivitis this morning.

 

Others have a nasty case of postdraftregretitis…

 

As usual, Carlton was penalised at yet another draft with Braun and Smart again going in the last few.  It’s a conspiracy. 

 

GM Hodges managed to sneer the coveted number one pick.  With KG, who cares who else he’s got? 

 

GM Entwisle reinforced his standing as the Makita “Mate of the Day” when he did us all a favour and drafted Bling Ming at 2…thanks Mate of the Day.  Aside from drafting the big man way too early, GM Entwisle put in another rock solid performance at draft night – Al Harrington, Magette and the man who has the right name to be the Halves and Doubles franchise player, Boozer. 

 

The shock of round one came when the rookie Rossco stepped into the pressure cooker that is GBL draft night for the first time.  I mean, none of us doubt Michael Finley’s first round credentials…IN 1998!  Obviously Rossco knows something we don’t through his Phoenix connections…pity the advice didn’t involve the Suns.  Rossco went on to draft Big Bad Ben Wallace and Jason Kidd.  He’s obviously going for experience to offset his “rookieness”.

 

His Freaky Deaky Dutch partner in crime, and worthy new Commissioner of this fine league, Commish Waldy, never really got over the disappointment of not seeing the stripper.  He’s got Marion and Cassell, but with Doc Rivers coaching it doesn’t really matter who’s on the floor. 

 

Cotton was distraught in the first round.  His love child Lebron was drafted by GM Showno, who showed a lot of faith in the boy wonder at pick 7.  Not one Detriot player amongst his starting five, despite constant talk of back-to-back.  Stevie Franchise and Jermaine O’Neill round out a strong team.  Expect the usual trash talking from this Motown boy.

 

Cotton was even more distraught about getting the last pick.  He looked very pale and we were worried he’d end up back on the drip…luckily we had a medical professional on hand to tend to his needs, if you know what I mean.  For the first time ever, Cotton didn’t crack.  He was focused.  5 solid picks, no typical Cotton post-draft dissonance, and an amazingly strong team for the guy with the last pick – Pierce, Brand, Donyell Marshall and Miller Time times 2.  A team to watch.

 

GM Fredman was another strong performer on draft night.  Kobe, Zach Randolph, Magloire…not a shit African centre or crap New York power forward amongst them.  Like his beloved Saints, could be a big improver this season.

 

It didn’t take GM Braun long to mispronounce players…Steven Marbury (he obviously turned white in the off-season) and Jerry Magloire.  He was also thinking of drafting Darren Wayde and Allen Brand.  Brauny’s never started with a team this solid – McGrady, Kirilenko, Arenas.  As always, Brauny will be good for trades in a few weeks.

 

E-Mac sparked a controversy when he drafted Divac and then recalled the pick.  He must have still had some shaving cream in his eye when reviewing Divac’s numbers.  In a flash, Divac was out.  And if Boozer has the right name for the Halves and Doubles, then Divac’s replacement couldn’t be better for E-Mac’s team – BLUNT!  Luckily he’s also got Tim Duncan Donuts and The Answer.

 

And then of course, there’s Rings Dunne, defending champ and only two time winner.  Dunne took up the Trevor Marmalade position in the kitchen with special LC comments all night.  Dunne showed usual form.  Build the team around Shaq.  Then draft one useless white guy to make a mockery of the No Honkies franchise.  This year it was Matt Harpring.  We all know that one pre season a player does not make.  Dunne immediately suffered from NCPPRS…Neale Cotton Post Pick Regret Syndrome.  He hasn’t slept a wink.

 

And what was Baseline thinking with James Posey?  He obviously thought it was the “Jamaal Possie” – how could he resist?  Only weak link in a solid team.  Smart will take on all challenges in the Back Court Challenge – all cash bets will be accepted and no one will out score B-Diddy and Ray Allen.  Especially not Rossco’s backcourt of Finley and Kidd.  Dirk the Jerk and the Big Z Ilgauskas round out a strong team.  Smart might find himself in foreign territory – not last at the first mid-season draft.

 

Let’s get it on!

 

GM Baseline

No Look Confusion Makers

 

 

Current Market Odds

Odds on the boards punters. 

 

Still plenty of value with 8 hours until Draft Night…

 

2-1    Brauny drafts two players in the same position

3-1    Brauny drafts four Small Forwards

5-1    Entwisle benefits from a Braun fuck up and gets a first round pick in the fifth round

6-1    The No Honkies continue their tradition of making a mockery of their name and draft a white guy

7-1    Cotton gets the shakes and the sweats

8-1    Smart drafts someone called Jamaal

10-1  Cotton comes armed with the most spreadsheets

12-1  Now that Waldy has a sidekick, Rossco, they’ll definitely get sidetracked by Himalayan hash and Danish DVDs

15-1  Fredman drafts a shithouse African centre (see Olawakandi or Mutumbo)

20-1  Showno drafts five Detroit players and doesn’t stop talking about them winning the title again

28-1  Cotton finds a way to draft Matera

30-1  Eddie Mac is still out from Saturday night and can’t be found

 

 

GBL Draft Report

Great wrap up Base! Send em down!

Great organisation of medical assistance J-Fred;)

Well done Mick -- Makita Mate of the Day!

S-Tac -- well-rolled! keep up the dice game negro!
Brauny -- brilliant pronounciation...i think Dennis Commetti is safe in his job!
Jaydo -- Harping should be called Harpic cos you will use him to clean your toilet!
Waldy --- strong start as Commish rules with an iron fist but a green finger
Showno --- very shocked about no Motown players but ya got the coach
Hodges -- No:1 pick ...don't mean nuttin!
Rossco --- Welcome Aboard and ummm........yeah.....ummmm...Findley?

Good Luck gents and here's to another GBL season!

We definitely have the set the bar very high for draft nites as was witnessed last nite at Mercy Mercy

I am still having lurid thoughts of being pulled into her vacuous Notorious V.A.G by her ankles:O

I LOVE THIS GAME!

The Mac

GBL Draft Dissonance Report

Firstly, very happy to see today that the NBA GMs overwhelming voted for Al Harrington as the player most likely to have a breakout season and Yao Ming second...like it!!! Read the full article here http://www.nba.com/preview2004/gmsurvey_breakout.html

Some points below from the experts to add to some post-draft dissonance for other GMs (you would normally expect this from LC but he must be tied up looking for positives from the Matt Harpring trade):

Michael Finley: "With Stackhouse on board, Finley’s minutes might take a bit of a hit this season, and his production could decrease across the board slightly. Still, Finley should make for a fine late round four or early round five selection."

Elton Brand: "More importantly, do NOT pick Elton Brand. Elton has proven some things over the years, he is a great scorer, rebounder, and shot blocker. He is consistent. His teams always lose. Most importantly, he is consistently battling injuries. Not season ending injuries. Just, he’ll-be-back-on-his-own time-table injuries. Injured players on bad teams take a very long time to come back and are always at risk of losing minutes. Elton Brand’s averages will be fine, your team won’t be." Source: The Answer Man on Fantasy Hoops

Gilbert Arenas: "Gilbert Arenas - Great. Injury prone. Let him be great for someone else." Source: The Answer Man on Fantasy Hoops
James Posey: "Posey had a career year last season, posting plenty of steals, threes and points and contributing solid defense and hustle which kept him on the court. As with any Grizzlie not named Jason Williams or Pau Gasol, however, Posey is at risk for losing minutes in 2004-05 as coach Hubie Brown will most likely implement his 10-man rotation once again. If Mike Miller, Bonzi Wells or Shane Battier get hot, Posey could easily wind up sitting for extended stretches."

Theo Ratliff: Beyond the blocks and the boards, there isn’t much to Ratliff’s game. He led the league with 3.61 blocks per game and averaged 4.4 bpg with Portland after coming over in a mid-season trade from Atlanta. He can keep you competitive in blocks, but you’ll need to surround him with scorers.

Baron Davis: Avoid Baron Davis. Assuming everyone reads the Answerman and are all smart enough to leave him undrafted before round 4, I advise you to be extra patient and stay very far away. He has missed 32 and 25 games over the last two seasons, respectively. Freak injuries don't bother me. Everyone gets hurt, they get surgery, they recover, they play. Guys who miss more than 40 games over two years are a problem. Davis will mysteriously miss games in the middle of the week without telling you. He will be on your bench because you cannot trust him. Avoid injury-prone players, they will sink your team.

Chauncey Billups: Avoid Chauncey Billups. He was the Finals MVP. That will make him overrated in your fantasy draft. You be the smart one. Stay away. The points are nice. He was under 6 apg. Not terrible. He was under .400 for a fg% and had just 1.08 spg. That is bad. You want a point guard that steals and passes. It's what point guards do. He doesn't do either well enough to justify that fg%. Stay away.

Matt Harpring: Unless the Jazz go big and start him at shooting guard, Matt Harpring will open the season coming off the bench. The team is more likely to use Gordan Giricek at shooting guard and make Harpring the No. 3 forward behind Andrei Kirilenko and Carlos Boozer. Harpring may not be worth using in fantasy leagues unless a teammate goes down.

Rashard Lewis: Avoid Rashard Lewis. The big problem with Lewis is the rebounding - well and the shot blocking, and the steals, and the fg%... pretty much everything except for the scoring. The 17 ppg is going to impress you. However, once you get past that, you're below 7 rpg, which is horrendous for a forward and the 43% fg is awful. He is only above average in the scoring.

Sam Cassell: Avoid Sam Cassell. I love Sam Cassell. I campaigned to have him voted on the All-Star team last season. He's getting old, and injuries will hurt him more and more. Sorry Sam. Cannot draft you this year.

Best of Luck to all....MOTD

"Freak the Freak" - Rodman

"Talk to other players and they'll say that wasn't a 43-year old guy that was running today," Rodman told the Rocky Mountain News. "That wasn't a 43-year-old guy. That was a freak out there."

O'Neal to Kobe - "Can't Buy Me Lurrrve"!!

``This whole situation is ridiculous,'' O'Neal told ESPN. ``I never hang out with Kobe, I never hung around him. In the seven or eight years we were together, we were never together. So how this guy can think he knows anything about me or my business is funny. And one last thing -- I'm not the one buying love. He's the one buying love.''

O'Neal responding to Kobe's comments.  Kobe was regretful that he didn't pay off women he slept with like he alleged O'Neal does.  O'Neal's latter comment was an apparent reference to a ring -- reportedly costing several million dollars -- that Bryant gave his wife, Vanessa, after he was charged with felony sexual assault last summer.

Rowdy Ronny Artest - "I was the best player on our team"

Wonder what Michael, Tito and most importantly Jermaine thought of that quote.

 

If Indy gets Stojakovic - lookout in the East.  Miller and Stojakovich both from doooowwwwntowwwn  !!

 

http://www.indystar.com/articles/6/180617-4686-036.html

 

 

 

 

 

Biggest comeback since Lazarus

This is great.  I'm thinking Mark Latham could win over the Westies if he got nabbed for chroming in the local shopping mall.

Washington DC has a new mayor - Marion 'pass me the crack pipe' Barry.  

Few political figures in the nation have shown the kind of resiliency as Barry. In 1990, the former four-term mayor was caught on tape smoking crack cocaine in a FBI sting operation and served time in jail for the offense, adding a new phrase to the late-night TV lexicon: "Bitch set me up." It also brought him many obituaries for his political career.   In 1992, just months after his release, he ran for, and won, the Ward 8 seat. Two years later, he won his fourth term.

Up to two years ago, charges of drug use continued to shadow him. U.S. Park Police said that they found him with traces of marijuana and crack cocaine in a parked car, a claim he profusely denied. The primary win virtually guarantees that he will be re-elected to the City Council in November.

 

 

If you know what I mean !

Some excerpts from a leaked tape of Kobe's sexual assault interview :

 

"Bryant said the woman offered to show him a tattoo of musical instruments and notes on her back, and she lowered a strap on her dress so he could see it. After that, he said, she kissed him and he kissed back. They caressed each other and she performed oral sex.   Bryant said he held her by the neck from behind, she lifted her dress and bent over a chair, and they had sex. He said he stopped after she refused to let him do something he requested".   

 

I'm guessing his request wasn't to hold that position while he fetched his gimp suit.

 

``It was consensual, there was nothing weird, you know what I mean,'' Bryant said during the interview.

Bad Boy for Life

Back to muthaf*ckin' back !

Shaq busts a rhyme on Kobe

from the mightymjd blog on Sep 9th, 2004. Quality !!

Even with wings you never as fly as me
You remind me of Kobe Bryant trying to be as high as me
But you can't
Even if you get me traded
Wherever I'm at, I'm Puffy; you Mase and you're still hated.

- Shaquille O'Neal, You Not the Fightin' Type

It looks like Shaq and Kobe will settle their difference how all of us wanted them to in the first place... through rap songs. Weak. A big deal will be made about this, but really... there's nothing there. The jist is basically, "Kobe got me traded, and I don't like him." Well, there's breaking news...

The real unfortunate thing about all this is that Shaquille O'Neal is rapping again. The American public, in this difficult time, doesn't deserve to be subjected to that. Let's just pray that Kobe doesn't feel the need to make a record to get back at him. But if he does... well, I hope it goes something like this:

Shaq thinks he carried me, but I ain't never owed him
I'mma get my own ring now, cuz I got Lamar Odom
We on different teams now, I'll succeed and you will fail
But the important thing for Kobe is that I stay out of JAIL!
You think you can rap, bitch, but my rhymes is also fluid
They said I raped that girl in Eagle Co., but I DIDN'T DO IT!
We shipped you to the Heat, cuz your game is innefectual
But let me make it clear again that all sex I have's CONSENSUAL!

Arenas doesn't fill in the right paperwork

Sloppy work GM Entwisle - let this be a lesson to all GM's. Get that
paperwork in on time !!

Washington Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas was suspended by the NBA for
one game Friday because he failed to maintain proper registration of a
handgun in 2003.

Pour a little liquor for RJ

NEW Jersey Net Richard Jefferson, just back from Athens, joined some friends hanging out at Soho:323 when he was approached by a pretty girl. The woman harangued Jefferson, 'You didn't represent our country.' Then she tried throwing her glass of wine on him. A friend of Jefferson stepped in to block it, which caused other partygoers to be splashed. The Olympic fan was asked to leave.

Cotton the Playa

I think Cottons exact line verbatim was

"You wanna get with this shit, come get with this gangsta, you wanna get with this gangsta shit, cmon gangsta" .......followed by dirty pash

Kobe misses starting position as prison bitch

Looks like KB will be in the purple and yellow next season, and not the
jail orange....

-- The sex assault charge against Kobe Bryant is dropped but a civil
case against the basketball star is to proceed.

ShowNo's Pistons Rant

Okay AB - just for you I've done a quick media summary and incorporated it into a bit of a rant so pardon me whilst I just get myself up on that there soap box ....

"I'm telling you right now," Bryant told the Los Angeles Times after Sunday's 88-80 defeat to Detroit. "We'll win Tuesday." Bryant trying to do a Rasheed for game 5. Only problem is - b*tch don't got game to back it up. 8-for-25 in gm 4 in what was really a must win. Prince has been in his jockstrap every step and is probably figuring in his nightmares this week.

``A guy actually made a good play, and I called it a foul. " Magic Johnson, cheating in order to win a pickup game at Michigan State this week. That's right - all Lakers can feel me today !

"The way Rasheed bounces onto the court like he's stepping off the Mothership and Bootsy's backing him up? Soul." ESPN columnist describing the 'Soul' Detroit has that the Lakers lack. Sheed's gonna tear the roof of the mothersucker Tuesday night.

"Wide-open looks are wide-open looks. He shot an airball just the other day, wide-open. Hell, nobody was 10 feet from him. He got it, caught it, wide-open, airball. You've got to make that shot. You've got to make plays. Gary's problem isn't on offense. It's on defense. Billups is using him up." Magic ripping the Glove and adding to Laker harmony. Can Laker fans say 'self-destruction'?!

"They're like every other fair weather fan out there. Like Shaq, who's 7-foot-3, will be wide open and barely jump and dunk the ball, and everybody goes crazy as if he just did a 360 dunk through his legs. That annoys me." "Malcolm in the Middle"'s Frankie Muniz, a Clippers season ticket holder for seven years commenting on Laker fans. I got new respect for that little 12yo punk.

"Thirdly, they're actually from New York. And most importantly, and this I can't emphasize enough, the Knicks never win. When Michael Jordan and Reggie Miller scorched the Knicks year after year, Spike Lee was still talking smack for his battered boys in blue. That's a true fan." Just sending out some props to Spike and all those hurting true Knickerbocker fans

and finally, perhaps the best, and definitely most 'GBL' quote for the whole season, completely unrelated to the Finals...

"It's for all the marbles. I'm loadin' up the pump. I'm loadin' up the Uzi. I got a couple M-16s, a couple 9s. I got a couple joints with some silencers on them. I'm just loading clips, a couple grenades. I got a missile launcher with a couple of missiles. I'm ready for war." KG commenting with war-time sensitivity before game 7 with Sacramento in Rd.2 I lost it when watching this interview on ESPN and now make the same quote every time before the my weekly squash game. Thanks for the new material KG !

I Love this Game.

PS. This series aint going back to Staples.

Dunne Deal

Once again, Julian Dunne has kept an ultra low profile during the season but has managed to let his team do all the talking and reap the rewards, taking out not only his second GBL title in four years, but also the newly invented second half title to leave no money left on the table. Bedrocked by Garnett at Small Forward and later joined by Shaq - the No Honkies were unstoppable as they routed the league.

GM S-Tac finally cracked it for the winner's podium and ran a galant second, although could have easily have thrown that away had his mid-season trade, which was subsequently denied by the league, gone through.

The GBL Front Office would like to take this opportuntity to congratulate GM's Dunne and Cotton on a well fought year. There can only be one winner and we can already hear GM Dunne chanting 'Rings' through the off-season.

Official Victory Speech - GM Fredman - Serie B winner

Reach for da Sky Hooks
GBL Serie B Champions
30 Mar 2004


"What a day for my team. They have perservered so much throughout this long, arduous, painful season. They have had to put up with harsh comments from other GM's throughout the season, which at times were uncalled for in my opinion. I mean, can we leave Vlade's days as a sex slave to Serbian potato farmers out of the GBL in future??? The poor 7'1" guy struggles enough to get a board as it is, without the constant verbal abuse flying his way.

And to all those out there who rolled your eyes when Rashy Nesterovic was drafted by the Sky Hooks. Well.... I hope your eyes hurt as a result. And to all those vitriolic GM's who laughed out loud when the name Antonio McDyess was called out by GM Fredman at a mid-season draft, well..... fair enough.

However, he who laughs loud laughs longest and gathers no moss. I am proud to be the first victor of the annual GBL Serie B trophy. I don't see no silverware in your cabinet Commishithouse. I'd like to congratuate GM Wald for his efforts during the Serie B playoff. What more can a GM do with Miller and K-Mart in the frontcourt???

Once again, a big thankyou to all my fans out there, all 3 of you. To quote Australia's second best gloveman behind Adam Gilchrist... "I love youse all".

A Sequence best Read from Bottom Up

I don't ride donkeys but would love to freak some ass ! "Julian Sonego"

I'm not a vegetarian but tonight I will be off my chops! "Edward Mcphail"

I don't eat meat but love well packed kebabs "Julian Sonego"

I don't like cats but I like kittens..."Joel Fredman"

I don't like doctors but I am always up for a thorough check-up "Neale Cotton"

I don't like going to the dentist but I don't mind a bit of dental "Neale Cotton"

I like playing "head games" with high school girls but then again I also like Kobe Bryant. "Edward Mcphail"

Don't mind high school games but prefer high school girls. "Neale Cotton"

I thought you only watched high school games????? "Joel Fredman"

Ready to Rummmmmmmmble !

After a controversial week when two trades (S-Tac and Entwisle & Fredman and Wald) were deemed null and void due to salary cap issues. Abuse has reigned down from all corners and GM E-Mac has decided to brand GM's according to their WWF alter-egos.


Forget Iron Fist let's get back to the days of Hulk Hogan and the Iron Sheik!!!

Bring on the camel clutch ,baby! Let's have a Royal Rumble and sort this mess out!

Mick Maestro -- I still have a Hulkamania headband from the WWF showbag in 1986 which you can borrow and I have the very first Wrestlemania soundtrack on vinyl so you can come out to "I am a real American".

Commish Showno -- you can come out to the Russsian National Anthem and sing Nikolai Volkov's "I Get No Respect".

Jaydo -- you are the LC of the WWF aka Jimmy"Mouth of the South" Hart

GM Dufflecoat -- Corporal Kirchner or Sargeant Slaughter

GM Cotton -- You wanna be the Ultimate Warrior but you are really the Junkyard Dog;)

GM Fredman -- Mean Gene Okerland (No pun intended)

GM LeBraun -- Randy "Macho Man" Savage

GM MAC -- Rowdy Roddy Piper aka Mr Angry

GM Base -- Big John Studd

GM Wald -- Hacksaw Jim Duggan or Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat

Are you ready to rrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmbllllllllleeeee?

OGs and H&Ds Trade

Ladies and Gentlemen of the GBL

The heads of the OGs and H&Ds would like to announce a huge trade this morning, sure to go down in the annals of the GBL (and sure to be blogged). The H&Ds, frustrated by an injury riddled and under performing squad have decided to trade some of their established stars for up and coming talent in a bid to resurrect their season before it's too late.

Never one to accept mid-table finishes, the H&Ds have traded Webber, Wallace and Abdur Rahim to the OGs in exchange for Boozer, Dampier and Lewis. Another trade to watch with interest to see who comes out on top. Will this be the difference for the OGs in their quest for a title or will this effectively end their title chances, will the H&Ds slide down the ladder or will they bounce back and start to challenge the league heavyweights......only time will tell


Postscript - trade voided as GM S-Tac could not fit players under cap.

Spinning the Cotton Wrap #1

GBL Wrap 4 – Instalment 1
9 February, 2004
Mercy Mercy, Prahran

Last week I was pulled over the hot coals for the tardiness (generous description) in my GBL Wrap. There was a public calling for the spill of Cotton’s blood, but like a true ‘sport’ I’ve copped the criticism on the chin and actually managed to pull 3 positives out of the email bashing I received ..….
1) The spirit of the GBL is still alive and kicking
2) We’ve unanimously agreed that “GM Mac = Vinny Dalpino”
3) I’ve got all ya’ll muthafuckers on the edge of your seat as I present to you the GBL Wrap of the week!

And to kick off proceedings let’s take a look at the GM who’s creating a wedge between himself and the rest of the competition courtesy of NBA MVP favourite Garnett. KG, the VGM powerhouse, was undisputedly the best pick in the pre-season draft. Grabbed with the 3rd overall pick, he’s managed to tally up double the VGMs of the 2nd overall pick – ShaqFu. Sound impressive? Well it is! Well, it sort of is. To put in it perspective, Shaq has totalled the lowest VGMs out of all currently playing GBL Centres! Yep, and that includes Magliore and Camby Tats.

When asked for comments about KG’s first half of the season performance, GM Dunne lived up to his reputation of being the leagues LC - “GM Wald really is a fuckin’ numbnut. Shaqops is overrated and overweighted. KG may look part alien but he’s delivering on the scoreboard and that where it cunts .. I mean counts”. GM Wald took a break from his hectic business trip in Scando to respond to GM Dunne’s comments - “yep I have been fuckin’. And yep I do have numb nuts”.

Despite GM Dunne’s arrogance, danger does loom at the “No Honkies” franchise. The biggest question surrounds the ongoing performance of Brad “Honkie” Miller. Will the immanent return of C-Webb see Miller’s numbers decline? Hmmmm …only time will tell.

There has also been constant speculation, as the delisting date the forth-coming draft approaches, to whether or not Billups will soon be without a home. His numbers have dropped and we all know that GM Dunne shows little tolerance for under performers. However, there is not much depth at the 1 spot so again we’ll just have to wait and see what happens. Talking of the 1 spot, keep your eyes out for Sebastian Telfair in the 2004 NBA Draft. Hailing from Brooklyn, and cousin to Stephen Marbury, this point guard is setting the high school world alight with his mind blowing dribbling skills and sixth sense passing prowess. Telfair recently broke the NYC assist / scoring record previously held by my number one homeboy Kenny Anderson. Just like LeBron, remember where you heard this first.

Chomping at GM Dunne’s heals we have the league’s Whipper Snipper - GM Duffle Coat. It may only be his first year, but his ability to recruit the GBL stars of the future has other GMs seeing Redd (corny joke I know, but it was too “NBA Action’esk” to exclude).

Duffle Coat (aka 2004/5 GBL Commish) has also been notably aggressive on the trading front throughout the year. In fact his focus in this area has left him with one of the most formidable line-ups in the competition. Perhaps more GMs should follow his lead rather than just focusing on building depth in the 3 spot.

Current Commish, GM ShowNo, went into franchise self-destruct mode pre-Christmas with the ‘savy’ recruiting of Arroya and Miller. Luckily for him, he was able to use the power granted to him as Commish to pull the GBL draft date forward and ensure that the effect of his poor drafting was minimised. Fortunately for us, history repeated itself and he picked up Dwyane Wade who’s numbers have halved since returning from injury. When asked to comment on his erroneous drafting ShowBitch was quoted as saying “At least I didn’t draft Alonzo Mourning”.

Apparently GM Angry Man found little humour in GM ShowBitch’s remarks, and was last seen wielding a glock around the St Kilda’s Luna Park Bumper Kart Track just because “some mutherfucker jumped into the No. 32 kart. That’s my fuckin’ kart. That muthafuckin’ should of known. I’m a kill that little muthafucker”. The offending driver of the No 32 kart was unavailable for comment. However, her kindergarden teacher released the following statement on child’s behalf “GM Mac = Danny Tiatto”.

Apologies to GM LeBraun, GM Smart(arse), GM Kitty Kat and GM Pussy Beater. GBL Wrap 4 - Instalment 2 will be coming your way soon.

Until then ………… Ya’ll know I don’t love know ho’s.

GM Cotton

Happy New Year and 2nd Draft Details

Welcome back to the fray Gentleman.

Interesting times in the GBL as dark horse and rookie GM "DuffMan" Hodges as well as seasoned veteran GM Cotton have surged into equal second, actually out VGM'ing perennial contender GM Dunne over the last two weeks. Chat rooms around the world are hoping this could gradually result in to the close season we have prayed for.

Some matters to clear up :

- GM E-Mac has graciously accepted a 21VGM deduction from the 'Extensions' for Rip Hamilton being subbed in for the 'supposedly' injured Allen Iverson. Iverson had an asterisk next to his name on the VGM site, however was never officially placed on the injured list on the 76ers website and a study of the box scores during this time showed that he was always on the Sixer's roster with a fat 'DNP' next to his name.

From this unfortunate incident of two sites contradicting each other, the GBL is now accepting only ONE OFFICIAL INJURED LIST which will be the official team web site player roster. No other information will be considered, regardless of asterisks appearing on the VGM site or what is said in newspaper articles.

Other matters before the Commish this week :

- D. Wald illegally had Boozer in on Dec 16 & 17 (11 VGMs) before correctly replacing with PJ Brown for the injured A. Stoudamire. During this time PJ Brown would have earned 18 VGMs so Waldy is to be adjusted +7VGMs.

- A. Braun should have had Ray Allen in from Dec 23 for 74 VGMs (26 + 5 + 25 + 18 VGMs for Dec 23, 27, 29 & 30 games respectively). Q. Rich has earned him 104 VGMs illegally (3 + 19 + 15 + 27 + 40) for games on Dec 23, 26, 28, 29 & 31 respectively. Braun to be adjusted - 30 VGMs. You may also want to keep an eye on the Lakers web site for when Malone hits their injured list (see player roster).

- M. Entwisle should have had Gilbert Arenas in for the game on Dec 30 & Feb 2 (2 VGMs & 12 VGMs) instead of M. Finley (16 VGMs & 7 VGMs respectively). Entwisle to be adjusted -9 VGMs.


As mentioned after the last draft, there will be one more draft before I depart for o/seas on Jan 13th as I won't be back before Feb 5th. Sorry for the compressed timing, but it will happen sooner rather than later so get prepared to cut any players you may not want THIS WEEK.... Timetable is as follows :

- Monday's games uploaded Tuesday afternoon EDST to determine draft order.
- Player cuts nominated by Wednesday 5pm EDST (Wed 6am UK time, 7am Amsterdam time - may as well get any cuts in Tues night boys...)
- Draft to take place over email, phone, text, messenger etc immediately after the draft order has been determined.
- New players are to be added to teams AFTER Friday 7pm EDST (which is Friday 8am UK time, 9am Amsterdam time). This will mean new players will be eligible for their first game on Saturday in the US (Sunday EDST in Aus).

Confused ? Believe it.

Whilst I am away, I am looking for a caretaker GM - any volunteers ?

Still lovin' this game (despite my team blowin' chunks).