Jamaal is a budding point guard. He wants to be drafted by a franchise in the Ghetto Boys League. As the League stands only for professionalism, first he has to pass a vocabulary test, using each word given in a sentence. This is Jamaal's response.
1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the hotel everybody.
2. Dictate - My girfriend say my dictate good.
3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man,
somebody get that catacomb.
4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose.
5. Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, but my b1tch rectum both.
6. Disappointment - My parole officer tol' me if I miss
disappointment they gonna send me back to the joint.
7. Israel- Tito try to sell me a Rolex. I say, "man, it look fake." He
say,"Bullsh1t, that watch israel"
8. Undermine - There's a fine lookin' ho who live in the apartment
undermine.
9. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took
me to thepoolhall.
10. Iraq- When we got to the poolhall, I tol' my uncle, iraq, you
br! eak.
11. Stain - My momma in law stopped by and I axed her, "You plan on
stain?"
12. Fortify - I axed this ho on da street, "how much?"
she say "fortify."
Monday, December 22, 2003
Tuesday, December 09, 2003
Colorado Police start T-shirt Drive to Lynch Kobe
ESPN.com - NBA - Kobe defense sees potential bias over T-shirts
Officials with the Eagle County sheriff's office have said a company called hangmantees.com gave the office two black T-shirts with a Bryant theme on Oct. 9, the first day of Bryant's preliminary hearing.
One has Bryant's No. 8 on the back with the words, "I'm not a rapist; I'm just a cheater." The other lists the costs of Bryant's trip to Eagle County and ends with, "Not bringing your wife to Colorado with you -- priceless."
Mackey, however, accused the sheriff's office of ordering 78 of the shirts for employees and for the district attorney's office. She cited unspecified e-mails between the sheriff's office and the shirt vendor.
Officials with the Eagle County sheriff's office have said a company called hangmantees.com gave the office two black T-shirts with a Bryant theme on Oct. 9, the first day of Bryant's preliminary hearing.
One has Bryant's No. 8 on the back with the words, "I'm not a rapist; I'm just a cheater." The other lists the costs of Bryant's trip to Eagle County and ends with, "Not bringing your wife to Colorado with you -- priceless."
Mackey, however, accused the sheriff's office of ordering 78 of the shirts for employees and for the district attorney's office. She cited unspecified e-mails between the sheriff's office and the shirt vendor.
Monday, December 08, 2003
GMs Hodges & Entwisle Negotiate their Points
Gentlemen...
Another blockbuster trade officially took place over the weekend between GMs Hodges and Entwisle. In a bid to strengthen up their backcourt with some much-needed youth the Halves and Doubles have acquired young gun Jamal Crawford in a direct swap with the NWH for the experienced Gary Payton. (Show No...can you please change his team now and I will swap mine also)
The trade was seen as WIN-WIN by both GMs, with the H&Ds needing some salary cap relief to allow them room to move in the upcoming draft, while NWH just wanted to get Crawford out of their locker-room (as evidenced by the statement bvelow released from NWH headquarters). Quite frankly I think GM Hodges needs to get out more.
GM Entwisle was very happy to acquire the ever-improving Crawford who is seen to have a bigger upside to the ageing Payton. Entwisle believes Crawford will steadily increase his numbers over the second half of the season, particularly after the trading of Jalen Rose and the replacement of Bill Cartwright as coach. Payton was consistent but it was felt that with Kobe, Shaq and Malone in the Lakers line-up there was little chance of Payton having any big scoring games. The salary cap relief should also come in handy after Arenas and Webber are slotted back into the H&Ds starting 5.
GM Hodges released the following statement:
GM Duff Man : I'm pissed off, yes I'm f*cking pissed off. You can tell by the tone of my voice that I am not happy at all. We were completely hornswaggled by GM Base and intend on lodging an official
complaint to the Commish about his sly underhanded tactics. I think that
failing to inform NWH that Crawford is gay is absolutely preposterous. It's as bad as not dislosing that a player about to be traded has a torn ACL. We at NWH have absolutely no tollerance for homos*xuality. Never have. NEVER WILL ! Back in my day we would simply have taken Rip van Winkle here out the back and given him a good beating with a rubber hose. But oh no, not these days. There is all this "progressive thinking" and "everyone is equal" bullsh*t which quite frankly has no place whatsoever in the mindset of a REAL MAN. At first I was rapped with the trade. Jamal seemed really motivated and focused on winning. He kept talking about his desire to get as many 'rings'
as he can. Well poor old Ronnie (Artest) found out what Gayboy meant by
rings when he dropped his soap in the shower after the Hawks game. No
wonder Ron sat out the next game. It wasn't because he has a bad back as was originally disclosed to the media it's because he's got a cleft a*sehole for f*ck sake. And what about Jamal's action at the nightclubs with fat boy Brand....an utter lie. Very very Paul Keating-esque indeed! Luckily GM Entwisle came to Crawford's rescue and offered to take this
faggot off our hands. I would like to say that I wish Jamal all the best
but I don't and Crawford let me tell you this right now. When you take the court against the NWH next you're going to be entering a world of pain. Ron holds grudges, has a long memory......and an extremely sore a*se.
NWH welcomes Gary Payton with open arms. He brings his outstanding game, leadership qualities and most of all his ability to 'bang the booty'. The three oustanding paternity suits he currently has against him lay testimony to that!
Whoa Yeah
Trade VGM Currency For VGM Currency
J. Crawford 15 11 G. Payton 17.4 17.1
Another blockbuster trade officially took place over the weekend between GMs Hodges and Entwisle. In a bid to strengthen up their backcourt with some much-needed youth the Halves and Doubles have acquired young gun Jamal Crawford in a direct swap with the NWH for the experienced Gary Payton. (Show No...can you please change his team now and I will swap mine also)
The trade was seen as WIN-WIN by both GMs, with the H&Ds needing some salary cap relief to allow them room to move in the upcoming draft, while NWH just wanted to get Crawford out of their locker-room (as evidenced by the statement bvelow released from NWH headquarters). Quite frankly I think GM Hodges needs to get out more.
GM Entwisle was very happy to acquire the ever-improving Crawford who is seen to have a bigger upside to the ageing Payton. Entwisle believes Crawford will steadily increase his numbers over the second half of the season, particularly after the trading of Jalen Rose and the replacement of Bill Cartwright as coach. Payton was consistent but it was felt that with Kobe, Shaq and Malone in the Lakers line-up there was little chance of Payton having any big scoring games. The salary cap relief should also come in handy after Arenas and Webber are slotted back into the H&Ds starting 5.
GM Hodges released the following statement:
GM Duff Man : I'm pissed off, yes I'm f*cking pissed off. You can tell by the tone of my voice that I am not happy at all. We were completely hornswaggled by GM Base and intend on lodging an official
complaint to the Commish about his sly underhanded tactics. I think that
failing to inform NWH that Crawford is gay is absolutely preposterous. It's as bad as not dislosing that a player about to be traded has a torn ACL. We at NWH have absolutely no tollerance for homos*xuality. Never have. NEVER WILL ! Back in my day we would simply have taken Rip van Winkle here out the back and given him a good beating with a rubber hose. But oh no, not these days. There is all this "progressive thinking" and "everyone is equal" bullsh*t which quite frankly has no place whatsoever in the mindset of a REAL MAN. At first I was rapped with the trade. Jamal seemed really motivated and focused on winning. He kept talking about his desire to get as many 'rings'
as he can. Well poor old Ronnie (Artest) found out what Gayboy meant by
rings when he dropped his soap in the shower after the Hawks game. No
wonder Ron sat out the next game. It wasn't because he has a bad back as was originally disclosed to the media it's because he's got a cleft a*sehole for f*ck sake. And what about Jamal's action at the nightclubs with fat boy Brand....an utter lie. Very very Paul Keating-esque indeed! Luckily GM Entwisle came to Crawford's rescue and offered to take this
faggot off our hands. I would like to say that I wish Jamal all the best
but I don't and Crawford let me tell you this right now. When you take the court against the NWH next you're going to be entering a world of pain. Ron holds grudges, has a long memory......and an extremely sore a*se.
NWH welcomes Gary Payton with open arms. He brings his outstanding game, leadership qualities and most of all his ability to 'bang the booty'. The three oustanding paternity suits he currently has against him lay testimony to that!
Whoa Yeah
Trade VGM Currency For VGM Currency
J. Crawford 15 11 G. Payton 17.4 17.1
Wednesday, December 03, 2003
Crawford & Brand Gawn for Twan & Stephawn
Well the winds of change have continued to sweep through the Confusion Makers Camp with a trade confirmed betwen GMs DuffMan and Smart. In this deal GM Smart sends Jamal Crawford and Elton Brand to the NHW and in turn receives Antione Walker and Stephon Marbury.
When asked about the deal GM Hodges had this to say :
GM Hodges : We are pleased to announce the additions of Elton Brand and Jamal Crawford to the ranks of NWH. We feel that this trade will add depth and a team focus that previously had not been present in NWH to the degree which we would have hoped for.
GM Hodges : To be honest I haven't seen either of these boys play. Hell I don't give two sh*ts about basketball I just have to find ways of spending the billions that I make from my oil ventures (Chelsea reference here). If these guys turn out to be duds then I'll just have them killed ! What did impress me about them is the night I saw them out clubbing. Obviously being overweight and having a stupid name like Elton, Mr Brand struggles with the ladies somewhat. Enter 'too smoov' Crawford with leather clad outfit, diamond earring and a first name that is a guaranteed panty remover he laid the tracks and had Mr Brand scooping up the left overs. It was a partnership made in heaven, Jamal snagging the stunner and Brand taking on the obligatory guard dogs without any complaints. I thought to myself, hey if they work this well on the court together as well then this could help lift NHW lift the Davis Cup at seasons end.
GM Hodges : Unfortunately however I can not offer such positive comments about Messieurs Marbury and Walker. Straight up Marbury's foot odour is an absolute disgrace ! Poor Michael Redd hasn't been able to hold down one room service meal and hasn't been able to con any puntang to come in any further than the hotel door for the foul stench Stephon's shoes make. We at NWH believe that player happiness is paramount and as such had to find Mr Marbury a new home so as to enable Michael to eat and root as a good professional basketball player should. I just hope Carter has a gas mask ! Now as for Antione, well we had to send him 'walking' for disciplinary reasons. He fancied himself as the practical joker of the team and while we were willing to put up with the toothpaste he placed on a sleeping Ron Artest's balls, the continual late night fast food deliveries that 'mysteriously' arrived on the door step of Coach Brown's room, we drew the line at the 'hide the sh*t' prank that he pulled on Jermaine which quite frankly was done in poor taste.
There was poor old Jermaine about to shampoo his hair when out oozes Antione's curry from the previous night. No wonder Jermaine had an off shooting night the next game, he had been sitting with his hand in a bucket of detol for 27 hours and that rendered his muscles practically useless.
We like to run a tight ship at NWH and we hope that we have sent a clear message that the usage of any bodily waste in any practical joke is clearly overstepping the line. Hopefully GM Base will keep a tight leash on this one.
We managed to track down GM Smart in Mint, a nightclub in Buenos Aires with the most amazing looking women in sub-Colombian South America, still dancing at 9:30 on Sunday morning. In a cocaine induced haze, Smart said, "Who's Stephon Marbury and Antoine Walker? Are they carrying, I'm all out?"
I love this game.
GM DuffMan
Trade VGM Currency For VGM Currency
Crawford 14.8 11 Marbury 19.1 18.9
E. Brand 38 22 Walker 19.4 18.1
TOTALS 52.8 33 38.5 37
nb - Brand had only 1 game to his name at this stage
When asked about the deal GM Hodges had this to say :
GM Hodges : We are pleased to announce the additions of Elton Brand and Jamal Crawford to the ranks of NWH. We feel that this trade will add depth and a team focus that previously had not been present in NWH to the degree which we would have hoped for.
GM Hodges : To be honest I haven't seen either of these boys play. Hell I don't give two sh*ts about basketball I just have to find ways of spending the billions that I make from my oil ventures (Chelsea reference here). If these guys turn out to be duds then I'll just have them killed ! What did impress me about them is the night I saw them out clubbing. Obviously being overweight and having a stupid name like Elton, Mr Brand struggles with the ladies somewhat. Enter 'too smoov' Crawford with leather clad outfit, diamond earring and a first name that is a guaranteed panty remover he laid the tracks and had Mr Brand scooping up the left overs. It was a partnership made in heaven, Jamal snagging the stunner and Brand taking on the obligatory guard dogs without any complaints. I thought to myself, hey if they work this well on the court together as well then this could help lift NHW lift the Davis Cup at seasons end.
GM Hodges : Unfortunately however I can not offer such positive comments about Messieurs Marbury and Walker. Straight up Marbury's foot odour is an absolute disgrace ! Poor Michael Redd hasn't been able to hold down one room service meal and hasn't been able to con any puntang to come in any further than the hotel door for the foul stench Stephon's shoes make. We at NWH believe that player happiness is paramount and as such had to find Mr Marbury a new home so as to enable Michael to eat and root as a good professional basketball player should. I just hope Carter has a gas mask ! Now as for Antione, well we had to send him 'walking' for disciplinary reasons. He fancied himself as the practical joker of the team and while we were willing to put up with the toothpaste he placed on a sleeping Ron Artest's balls, the continual late night fast food deliveries that 'mysteriously' arrived on the door step of Coach Brown's room, we drew the line at the 'hide the sh*t' prank that he pulled on Jermaine which quite frankly was done in poor taste.
There was poor old Jermaine about to shampoo his hair when out oozes Antione's curry from the previous night. No wonder Jermaine had an off shooting night the next game, he had been sitting with his hand in a bucket of detol for 27 hours and that rendered his muscles practically useless.
We like to run a tight ship at NWH and we hope that we have sent a clear message that the usage of any bodily waste in any practical joke is clearly overstepping the line. Hopefully GM Base will keep a tight leash on this one.
We managed to track down GM Smart in Mint, a nightclub in Buenos Aires with the most amazing looking women in sub-Colombian South America, still dancing at 9:30 on Sunday morning. In a cocaine induced haze, Smart said, "Who's Stephon Marbury and Antoine Walker? Are they carrying, I'm all out?"
I love this game.
GM DuffMan
Trade VGM Currency For VGM Currency
Crawford 14.8 11 Marbury 19.1 18.9
E. Brand 38 22 Walker 19.4 18.1
TOTALS 52.8 33 38.5 37
nb - Brand had only 1 game to his name at this stage
Tuesday, December 02, 2003
Confusion at the 'Makers' as Trade Irregularities Surface
GM Smart to lose 19 VGMs at the end of the season for illegally including Gasol in today's roster. Luckily for GM Base Chandler did not suit up today (Dec 1 games).
Probably will be worse if GM Base doesn't have Magliore and Nowitski subbed in time for tomorrow's games. Once those VGM's are gawn, you can't get em back.
Word.
____________________________
I'll tell you another thing for free !
Whatever VGMs you accrue today for Chandler and Gasol in your team won't count.
When you announce a trade, you're meant to sub your players straight away. Not some time the next week. Brauny has kept his side of the bargain (surprisingly) - and yet you dropped the ball !
Not good enough.
Looks like the Commish just got UpsideYaHead B*atch !!!
____________________________
Probably will be worse if GM Base doesn't have Magliore and Nowitski subbed in time for tomorrow's games. Once those VGM's are gawn, you can't get em back.
Word.
____________________________
I'll tell you another thing for free !
Whatever VGMs you accrue today for Chandler and Gasol in your team won't count.
When you announce a trade, you're meant to sub your players straight away. Not some time the next week. Brauny has kept his side of the bargain (surprisingly) - and yet you dropped the ball !
Not good enough.
Looks like the Commish just got UpsideYaHead B*atch !!!
____________________________
Monday, December 01, 2003
GBL Wrap Week 2
November 30
Tidnings Utgivarna
In the middle of nowhere
Amid abuse, shouts of laziness and even questions of how much I really love this game, I bring you this weeks’ Wrap. It is late, but then again I know of a few Nordic girls that may also be late next month.
So 3 weeks into the GBL season and the league table is already starting to take some familiar shape. GM Dunne’s No Honkies have surged to the top after a huge 424 points in week 4. All 5 starters are averaging more than what they were valued at and that has given GM Dunne the confidence to hit the Sri Lankan bitches, I mean beaches, while his team runs through their motions. I’m sure JD’s motions are quite runny too after a few vindaloos.
An early surprise package is GM “Who’s ya Daddy� Mac who has been accused in the past of being scared of heights. Let’s see how long he can stay up there. Eddie Mac was heavily backed in Holland after the draft. Any team that boasts Iverson and Kidd in the back court would make any betting pundit dig deep into their pockets. Mac has been vocal in his support of GM Wald’s jutz banging campaigns and that has built strong bridges between the continental franchises…..all that work however was destroyed by a comment about our boy Ruud smoking the pink one. Van Nistelroy responded in the dutch papers this week “Wat een klootzak! Mac heb geen idea als iderein of helemaal!!!! Hij worden hondje ontbijt, waneer I ben klaar met hij…..� (What an idiot! Mac has no idea about anyone or anything! He will be dogs breakfast when I’m finished with him). Speaking of Finnish, I banged a chick from Helsinki on Friday….my first taste of real herring. (pic attached)
Early favourite GM Entwisle is sitting pretty tucked in behind the leaders in 3rd spot. He is not far off the pace and will be looking to slip stream the leaders in the second half of the season. The Wallace brothers have kept the scoreboard ticking and it has even had the GM thinking about recruiting their older brother Terry to add some more hussle and bussle. The Glove has slipped onto the 5 pronged attack nicely, together with our favourite Islamic Extremist, Shareef Abdur-Rahim and a guy from Broadmeadows, Jason Richardson. Look out for big things from the Halves and Doubles this year!
Sitting in just behind Mick is the newly appointed commish, GM Show No “Mercy� Sonego. What a great job this man has done so far this year. The king of bog, I mean blog, has put the effort and newly found geek skills into this great competition that has lifted it to a new high…..so much so that we had 3 franchise clubs trying to get into our great league. It has to be the greatest compliment to the GBL when rogue franchises try to sneak in and compete against the best. GM ShowNo’s leadship and guidance helped pave the way for a smooth transition into the newly spelled league. Television rights, licenses and branding all renegotiated within an hour and new name for our competition was created. Great work by the commish…..
New arrival and welcomed supporter of Manchester United, GM B. Hodges is enjoying a good start in his rookie year. He, like GM Wald finds it difficult to engage in the banter in the Northern winter season, due to time differences…..but Hodges has shown great potential early on in the season to not only rack up VGMs, but also wit and banter that has made this competition so great…..and living in London, its probably not the only thing he racks up…Amsterdam awaits you.
GM’s Cotton, Fredman and Braun are in their usual places, sniffing a lot of arse and there is not much to report there. Great wrap up from GM Smart, rockin’ in Rio and although he is placed last at the moment, expect a KIWI-esque (1983 melbourne cup) come back from behind…..he will probably wait until early next year before the whip comes out ala Jimmy Cassidy………
Keep on Rocking!!!
GM Wald
Tidnings Utgivarna
In the middle of nowhere
Amid abuse, shouts of laziness and even questions of how much I really love this game, I bring you this weeks’ Wrap. It is late, but then again I know of a few Nordic girls that may also be late next month.
So 3 weeks into the GBL season and the league table is already starting to take some familiar shape. GM Dunne’s No Honkies have surged to the top after a huge 424 points in week 4. All 5 starters are averaging more than what they were valued at and that has given GM Dunne the confidence to hit the Sri Lankan bitches, I mean beaches, while his team runs through their motions. I’m sure JD’s motions are quite runny too after a few vindaloos.
An early surprise package is GM “Who’s ya Daddy� Mac who has been accused in the past of being scared of heights. Let’s see how long he can stay up there. Eddie Mac was heavily backed in Holland after the draft. Any team that boasts Iverson and Kidd in the back court would make any betting pundit dig deep into their pockets. Mac has been vocal in his support of GM Wald’s jutz banging campaigns and that has built strong bridges between the continental franchises…..all that work however was destroyed by a comment about our boy Ruud smoking the pink one. Van Nistelroy responded in the dutch papers this week “Wat een klootzak! Mac heb geen idea als iderein of helemaal!!!! Hij worden hondje ontbijt, waneer I ben klaar met hij…..� (What an idiot! Mac has no idea about anyone or anything! He will be dogs breakfast when I’m finished with him). Speaking of Finnish, I banged a chick from Helsinki on Friday….my first taste of real herring. (pic attached)
Early favourite GM Entwisle is sitting pretty tucked in behind the leaders in 3rd spot. He is not far off the pace and will be looking to slip stream the leaders in the second half of the season. The Wallace brothers have kept the scoreboard ticking and it has even had the GM thinking about recruiting their older brother Terry to add some more hussle and bussle. The Glove has slipped onto the 5 pronged attack nicely, together with our favourite Islamic Extremist, Shareef Abdur-Rahim and a guy from Broadmeadows, Jason Richardson. Look out for big things from the Halves and Doubles this year!
Sitting in just behind Mick is the newly appointed commish, GM Show No “Mercy� Sonego. What a great job this man has done so far this year. The king of bog, I mean blog, has put the effort and newly found geek skills into this great competition that has lifted it to a new high…..so much so that we had 3 franchise clubs trying to get into our great league. It has to be the greatest compliment to the GBL when rogue franchises try to sneak in and compete against the best. GM ShowNo’s leadship and guidance helped pave the way for a smooth transition into the newly spelled league. Television rights, licenses and branding all renegotiated within an hour and new name for our competition was created. Great work by the commish…..
New arrival and welcomed supporter of Manchester United, GM B. Hodges is enjoying a good start in his rookie year. He, like GM Wald finds it difficult to engage in the banter in the Northern winter season, due to time differences…..but Hodges has shown great potential early on in the season to not only rack up VGMs, but also wit and banter that has made this competition so great…..and living in London, its probably not the only thing he racks up…Amsterdam awaits you.
GM’s Cotton, Fredman and Braun are in their usual places, sniffing a lot of arse and there is not much to report there. Great wrap up from GM Smart, rockin’ in Rio and although he is placed last at the moment, expect a KIWI-esque (1983 melbourne cup) come back from behind…..he will probably wait until early next year before the whip comes out ala Jimmy Cassidy………
Keep on Rocking!!!
GM Wald
Sunday, November 30, 2003
TRADE NEWS
O Globo
Sao Paulo, Brazil
28/11/03
The GBL is gripped by trading fever with the second trade of the season confirmed over the weekend.
The always slow-starting, fast-finishing No Look Confusion Makers and the perenial cellar dwellers Hollywood Wannabes have announced a four player exchange, trading small forwards Gasol and Nowitski and centres Chandler and Magloire.
GM Braun was estatic about the trade.
"I got my hands on another small forward. I can't get enough of these guys. I mean, their forwards, yet their small. I would have traded for two small forwards except Smart only had one."
Indeed, Braun has so much experience aquiring Small Forwards that if they were on the commodity exchange Braun could work at the trading desk of Solomon Smith Barney. Now that the Hollywood Wannabes have moved into last place on the ladder, Small Forward futures analysts are suggesting that Braun will draft another one with his first pick.
In an O Globo exclusive we managed to track down elusive GM Smart at the back table of a smokey strip joint in Rio surrounded by hot latino biatches in g-strings.
Smart has been on an extensive tour of Latin America in order to find new training and motivational techniques to raise the always slow starting No Look Confusion Makers from the bottom of the GBL table. In particular, he has spent time in Colombia with the guerilla group FARC and is looking for a similar level of counter-revolutionary zeal from his players, as reflected in his comments.
"I've cut Gasol in reaction to Spain's refusal to release brothers in arms Basque separatists and their close alliance with the Americans in Iraq. I'm going with Nowitski, because the Germans really stuck it up the American front office over Iraq and I think Dirk can do the same to the front court of other GBL teams."
Smart has constantly berated the performance of point guard Jamaal Crawford in the press and his comments relating to the second part of the deal, releasing centre Tyson Chandler for Jamaal Magloire, would further rub salt in the wounds.
"I'm hoping two Jamaals can make a right".
Trade VGM Currency For VGM Currency
Nowitski 20.1 25.9 Gasol 17.6 18.6
Magliore 13.3 13.9 Chandler 19 11.3
TOTALS 33.4 39.8 36.2 29.9
** ENDS **
Sao Paulo, Brazil
28/11/03
The GBL is gripped by trading fever with the second trade of the season confirmed over the weekend.
The always slow-starting, fast-finishing No Look Confusion Makers and the perenial cellar dwellers Hollywood Wannabes have announced a four player exchange, trading small forwards Gasol and Nowitski and centres Chandler and Magloire.
GM Braun was estatic about the trade.
"I got my hands on another small forward. I can't get enough of these guys. I mean, their forwards, yet their small. I would have traded for two small forwards except Smart only had one."
Indeed, Braun has so much experience aquiring Small Forwards that if they were on the commodity exchange Braun could work at the trading desk of Solomon Smith Barney. Now that the Hollywood Wannabes have moved into last place on the ladder, Small Forward futures analysts are suggesting that Braun will draft another one with his first pick.
In an O Globo exclusive we managed to track down elusive GM Smart at the back table of a smokey strip joint in Rio surrounded by hot latino biatches in g-strings.
Smart has been on an extensive tour of Latin America in order to find new training and motivational techniques to raise the always slow starting No Look Confusion Makers from the bottom of the GBL table. In particular, he has spent time in Colombia with the guerilla group FARC and is looking for a similar level of counter-revolutionary zeal from his players, as reflected in his comments.
"I've cut Gasol in reaction to Spain's refusal to release brothers in arms Basque separatists and their close alliance with the Americans in Iraq. I'm going with Nowitski, because the Germans really stuck it up the American front office over Iraq and I think Dirk can do the same to the front court of other GBL teams."
Smart has constantly berated the performance of point guard Jamaal Crawford in the press and his comments relating to the second part of the deal, releasing centre Tyson Chandler for Jamaal Magloire, would further rub salt in the wounds.
"I'm hoping two Jamaals can make a right".
Trade VGM Currency For VGM Currency
Nowitski 20.1 25.9 Gasol 17.6 18.6
Magliore 13.3 13.9 Chandler 19 11.3
TOTALS 33.4 39.8 36.2 29.9
** ENDS **
Monday, November 24, 2003
Outstanding GBL Business
Getting interesting at the top - already with GM's S-Tac, E-Mac and Dunne having spent some time at the pinnacle. Could be the close year the fans have wanted for some time.
WEEKLY WRAP
Just thought I'd send a group email to remind "Waldy" that a wrap is due today - although I'll provide until the end of Monday (in Europe) to comply. 20VGMs at stake for a no-show - could be the difference between being in the money and no money at the end of the season.
Brauny - you're on for next week, then Cotts the week after,
ENTRY FEES
Speaking of money - entry fees are now due for the GBL Season. $80 each, payable to :
Prize Pool :
% $
2nd half winner 10.0% 80
Overall winner 65.0% 520
Overall runner-up 25.0% 200
TOTAL 100% 800
NEXT DRAFT
Next draft, which many GMs are waiting for with baited breath (and some with bad breath), will be the night of Monday Dec. 15 at 8.30pm. Who would like the honour of being host for the next draft night ?
Draft order will be determined once all games from Sunday December 14 have been uploaded into the system and will go reverse order. 10->1 10->1 ... All players to be cut from teams have to be nominated 1 week beforehand and will not be accepted after 5pm, Monday December 8. You have been told !
If you prefer, you can email your cut players to me secretly, or tell all and sundry who you have cut. It is up to you, however you could work some advantages by keeping your opposing GM's guessing about who will be available and emailing only me. Once I publish the entire list of who has been cut, that will be final and no more cut players will be accepted. Currently subsituted players are available to be drafted, forcing the GM who has them as a sub to select an available alternative. Trades are always available, but GM's cannot use future draft picks as bargaining chips.
To ensure complete transparency on my behalf, I will be completely clean and tell everyone that Ricky Davis (SG) and Nick Van Exel (PG) are up for grabs at next draft and will probably still be up for grabs at the end of it.
The next draft after this won't be until early February so make it count !
That is all.
I love this game.
WEEKLY WRAP
Just thought I'd send a group email to remind "Waldy" that a wrap is due today - although I'll provide until the end of Monday (in Europe) to comply. 20VGMs at stake for a no-show - could be the difference between being in the money and no money at the end of the season.
Brauny - you're on for next week, then Cotts the week after,
ENTRY FEES
Speaking of money - entry fees are now due for the GBL Season. $80 each, payable to :
Prize Pool :
% $
2nd half winner 10.0% 80
Overall winner 65.0% 520
Overall runner-up 25.0% 200
TOTAL 100% 800
NEXT DRAFT
Next draft, which many GMs are waiting for with baited breath (and some with bad breath), will be the night of Monday Dec. 15 at 8.30pm. Who would like the honour of being host for the next draft night ?
Draft order will be determined once all games from Sunday December 14 have been uploaded into the system and will go reverse order. 10->1 10->1 ... All players to be cut from teams have to be nominated 1 week beforehand and will not be accepted after 5pm, Monday December 8. You have been told !
If you prefer, you can email your cut players to me secretly, or tell all and sundry who you have cut. It is up to you, however you could work some advantages by keeping your opposing GM's guessing about who will be available and emailing only me. Once I publish the entire list of who has been cut, that will be final and no more cut players will be accepted. Currently subsituted players are available to be drafted, forcing the GM who has them as a sub to select an available alternative. Trades are always available, but GM's cannot use future draft picks as bargaining chips.
To ensure complete transparency on my behalf, I will be completely clean and tell everyone that Ricky Davis (SG) and Nick Van Exel (PG) are up for grabs at next draft and will probably still be up for grabs at the end of it.
The next draft after this won't be until early February so make it count !
That is all.
I love this game.
Friday, November 21, 2003
BLOCKBUSTER TRADE
GBL Press Release
Reuters - AAP - Al Jazeera - Bloomberg
November 21
BLOCKBUSTER TRADE
After only 1 week into the GBL season, GM's Fredman and ShowNo have negotiated a "blockbuster" 6-player deal, one of the largest transactions this league has seen, that provides the 'Sky Hooks' with a much needed injection of talent and VGM scoring potential in the backcourt, whilst ShowNo's UpsideYaHead franchise consolidates one of the strongest frontcourts in the league, also clearing some cap room for potential future moves.
With one of the worst backcourts in the league, GM Fredman was growing increasingly restless with the poor contributions from VanSexsells and Ricky Davis who have been the biggest no-shows this season. He saw the need to bring explosive scorer - Kobe Bryant - into the franchise and has decided to roll the dice. Partnering with Paul Pierce, the Sky Hooks now have a lethal one-two punch with the potential to score in bunches on any given night and it is that potential which excites GM Fredman. "Kobe is gonna tear this competition apart, hopefully similarly to his treatment of that little bitch in Colorado" Fredman announced in a joint media conference. Andre Miller also provides some upside at the point, compared with Van Exel who is barely getting to touch the ball these days, whilst Vlade Divac will provide consistent numbers in the paint and is still considered one of the best passing big men in the league.
GM ShowNo has had to turn his back on Kobe and sacrificed his backcourt duo in order to clear some cap room for the first draft. However in doing so, he has also pulled together a formidable international front court of Kirilenko, Duncan and Ming. This negotiation which was weeks in progress was hammered out in the dying minutes last night before GM Fredman had his 6 O'clock lapdance at Goldies. "I am sorry to see Kobe go. We had such great times coercing girls to do unspeakable acts together and his contributions will be missed. However I would also like to welcome Ming to the fray and look forward to seeing what kind of Asian punani he can bring to this ball club. You know what they say in Ho Chi Minh city - Ting Chang Gop Kung Beng"!
Details of player swap. Currency & VGM's as of Nov 20,2003.
Trade VGM Currency For VGM Currency
Ming 20.2 16.4 Divac 17 14.5
Davis 16.5 15.4 Kobe 20.3 23.8
Van Exel 9.8 14.7 Miller 13.1 14.5
TOTALS 46.5 46.5 50.4 52.8
-------ends--------
Reuters - AAP - Al Jazeera - Bloomberg
November 21
BLOCKBUSTER TRADE
After only 1 week into the GBL season, GM's Fredman and ShowNo have negotiated a "blockbuster" 6-player deal, one of the largest transactions this league has seen, that provides the 'Sky Hooks' with a much needed injection of talent and VGM scoring potential in the backcourt, whilst ShowNo's UpsideYaHead franchise consolidates one of the strongest frontcourts in the league, also clearing some cap room for potential future moves.
With one of the worst backcourts in the league, GM Fredman was growing increasingly restless with the poor contributions from VanSexsells and Ricky Davis who have been the biggest no-shows this season. He saw the need to bring explosive scorer - Kobe Bryant - into the franchise and has decided to roll the dice. Partnering with Paul Pierce, the Sky Hooks now have a lethal one-two punch with the potential to score in bunches on any given night and it is that potential which excites GM Fredman. "Kobe is gonna tear this competition apart, hopefully similarly to his treatment of that little bitch in Colorado" Fredman announced in a joint media conference. Andre Miller also provides some upside at the point, compared with Van Exel who is barely getting to touch the ball these days, whilst Vlade Divac will provide consistent numbers in the paint and is still considered one of the best passing big men in the league.
GM ShowNo has had to turn his back on Kobe and sacrificed his backcourt duo in order to clear some cap room for the first draft. However in doing so, he has also pulled together a formidable international front court of Kirilenko, Duncan and Ming. This negotiation which was weeks in progress was hammered out in the dying minutes last night before GM Fredman had his 6 O'clock lapdance at Goldies. "I am sorry to see Kobe go. We had such great times coercing girls to do unspeakable acts together and his contributions will be missed. However I would also like to welcome Ming to the fray and look forward to seeing what kind of Asian punani he can bring to this ball club. You know what they say in Ho Chi Minh city - Ting Chang Gop Kung Beng"!
Details of player swap. Currency & VGM's as of Nov 20,2003.
Trade VGM Currency For VGM Currency
Ming 20.2 16.4 Divac 17 14.5
Davis 16.5 15.4 Kobe 20.3 23.8
Van Exel 9.8 14.7 Miller 13.1 14.5
TOTALS 46.5 46.5 50.4 52.8
-------ends--------
GBL Wrap Week 1
GBL Week 1 Wrap
Nov 17, 2003.
Reuters – AAP - Al Jazeera
NASDAQ (GBL)
Confounding critics and naysayers, silencing threats of team withdrawals and avoiding the very real prospect of a DNP CD, the much talked about, often maligned 2003/04 GBL season finally kicked off last week, greeted with a collective sigh of relief from sporting fans around the globe.
A stake was finally and firmly put in the ground after much to’ing and (a)fro’ing and the the GBL was to finally have its draft day in the sun. There was still the very real risk that founding members GM Wald and GM Entwisle may not be able to make the competition this year, however the stars managed to align and all GM’s heeded the call to arms.
The Jacuzzi was heated, bubbly on ice and extra-phat blunts rolled as the draft took place at GM Dunne’s gangsta-pad in the re-located GBL Headquarters, downtown St. Kilda, on the night of Nov 11 at 8.30pm EDST, 3.30pm Punjabi time, 7.30am Brazillian punani time, 10.30am UK Pint time and 11.30am Amsterdamaged time; but does time really exist in Amsterdam anyway.
After calls by outgoing Commish Entwisle for an ‘efficient’ draft to take place (clearly finding it difficult to relinquish his dictatorial grip over the league), Commissioner ShowNo was sworn in, blew a line of coke (the GBL equivalent of smashing vintage champagne across the bow of a new ocean liner) and declared the season to be “ORN”.
This year’s draft was no ordinary affair and for the first time spanned four continents – Sth America, Asia, Australia and Europe. A tenth franchise was also added to the GBL’s burgeoning ranks, fronted by notorious beer swilling, womanizing London underworld figure GM Hodges, of the ‘Hodges Shuffle’ fame, who now fronts the up and coming NWH outfit (Niggaz wit’ Hops). Loaded with young talent in the locker room, and his players on the court aren’t bad either, GM Hodges hopes the boys will be taking care of business on the floor, whilst he takes care of business on the team bench press. Artest and O’Neal form the nucleus of a squad that won’t back down from a challenge, and you know this team will be one to watch (GM Hodges supposedly videotaping his exploits for distribution across the internet).
Not everything ran smoothly for the more experienced GM’s on draft night. We had one false start from GM Base in Brazil, who turned up 24 hrs early for the draft and had to therefore endure two 7.30am mornings with a pounding head and a corroding nasal cavity. Whilst there are some definite stars in the “Makers”, injuries to Elton Brand and just recently to young gun Jamal Crawford, as well as a worrying FG% from Vinsanity have held this team back from reaching its potential. Will GM Base be able to weave the magic he wove last year when he was in a similar position at the rear of the field, only to make a late surge for the title after picking up some quality players in the first draft.
GM Wald also found draft night a challenge and had to make selections from bed, finding it difficult to get up these days for anything other than to slide the bong or the bedpan a little closer to his bedside. GM Wald’s Amsterdamaged outfit, drafted in part by proxy, is an exciting, young, run & gun team, anchored in the middle by the man you don’t want shooting free throws for your life – S. O’Neal. Manchild A. Stoudamire is yet to fully reach his potential after claiming last year’s Rookie of the Year honours, whilst this year’s hot favourite – Lebron - is looking very good early. Sometime in this young man’s career he may go close to averaging a triple double – unfortunately for GM Wald it won’t be this year. From last reports, GM Wald was still getting his stomach pumped and still has no idea who is in his team.
GM Braun also managed to get confused and was unable to make it 2km down the road to attend the draft in person. It was still an interesting night for GM Braun, who tried to take a leaf out of Mark Cuban’s book and looked to form his own ‘small ball’ team, attempting to draft 3 Small Forwards. The move failed dismally, but GM Braun did manage to save some face, drafting everyone’s favourite party man “Vinnie Boy” Baker. The Wannabees have managed to hold their ground reasonably well so far, but a lot more research and team preparation will be required to salvage what is already looking like a shaky season. GM Braun, known as the laziest GM in the league due to his lack of preparation and basketball nous, needs to make some drastic changes and fast if he is to make any kind of challenge this season.
GM’s E-Mac and S-Tac, true to form, turned up to the draft night higher than the proverbial pig in space which made for an interesting draft order selection process.
When the ping pong balls finally dropped, the lucky Pick #1 went to the new Commissioner, GM ShowNo who wasted no time in selecting his franchise player Mr Efficiency – Tim Duncan. Few surprises emerged throughout the rest of the draft, although there were murmerings of scandal after GM S-Tac found his statistical macros and 12 sheets of GBL analysis had been tampered with. Coveted rookie LeBron James went toward the end of the third round with pick #29 to GM Wald, GM S-Tac shedding a quiet tear, whilst Kobe Bryant went pick #20, dropping from pick #10 last year due to his involvement in a rape case and the possibility that he will be seeing more minutes in a Colorado Court than on the Lakers home floor.
On paper, GM Entwisle’s team looks the strongest, although there are murmurings of disgruntlement throughout the league with his subbing of confessed Rageaholic (coz he’s addicted to Rageahol) – Rasheed Wallace – in place of the injured Chris Webber. This deal looks to have the fingerprints of disgraced ex-president John Elliot all over it, who has clearly taught GM Entwisle the art of dubious salary cap dealings. An official enquiry is still in progress whilst the Halves & Doubles find themselves in foreign territory – the middle of the table.
GM S-Tac has managed to put some daylight between himself and the rest of the league, thanks mostly in part to Sleepy McGrady waking from his funk and lighting up for 51pts during the week – a season and league high. The Shard and B. Diddy Davis are also putting in very strong performances early, although consistency of the OG’s is still to be proven in this very long GBL season. Things will be interesting when Mashburn returns, as B.Diddy’s numbers are expected to decline. Dampier and Boozer continue to overachieve.
Surprisingly, GM E-Mac finds himself in unfamiliar territory running 2nd in the standings. Zac Randolph has been strong (thank God he poached him from GM S-Tac’s clutches), Ilgauskas has shown very solid form and The Answer is still strapped with gats, spraying shots like he was on the corner of Florence and Crenshaw on a Friday night. Luckily for other GMs, most of his shots never hit their mark but he can still drop the occasional 40pt game on your ass when you least expect it.
GM Dunnes No Honkie’s outfit has again drafted a honky in Brad Miller and the team name is fast becoming a farce. Luckily this honkie got game and rounds out a very solid looking outfit of KG, K-Mart, J. Terrry and Big Ups to my nigga Billups, who is performing admirably this last week and rarely misses from the stripe. Expect the No Honkies to be around the top 3 leader board come the end of the season with a lot of smart money going on the ‘Honkies’ to win the whole thing….again.
ShowNo got Upside Everyone’s Head when he landed the first pick in the draft and TD has provided the bedrock for a solid team. Sleeper Kirilenko also looks strong and this team will be up for the challenge each and every night. Kobe is still yet to hit his stride, but when the knee fully recuperates you can imagine his current scoring average won’t stay at 21ppg for too long (he was averaging over 30ppg last season). Still some upside left with this outfit, although they do look a little weak at PG and Coaching positions.
GM Fredman again heads a team that keeps the cellar dwellers company. Rumour has it he has given the team a verbal spray and has hinted that no-one is inexpendable, all five players being up for review in the next draft. Some pundits are claiming that GM Fredman is too closely wound into the fabric at St. Kilda FC, the New York Knicks and now the ‘Sky Hooks’, creating a culture of incompetence that has become ingrained. The league’s perennial basketcase, it is common opinion that more than player changes are needed here, and the change must start from the top down.
All in all, a very interesting 1st week for the GBL. Many are eagerly looking to the first draft to fine tune their rosters. It has been ‘pencilled’ in for Monday December 15 at this stage which should hopefully avoid clashing with any Christmas parties.
Next week’s wrap courtesy of GM Wald.
I love this game.
Commish ShowNo
Quotable Quotes from the Week :
FARK! Can't get Messenger to work. What round you up to?
GM Base on email to Commish ShowNo. A day before the draft.
Shit, fool, back to bed...
GM Base on email to Commish ShowNo after realizing his fark up.
I COMPLETELY DISAGREE.
GM Cotton – confused – makes a bold, incorrect statement about when a team could be loaded into the system.
Unfortunately you can't fine GM's for stupidity.
Commish Show resisting calls to fine GM Cotton for foot in mouth syndrome.
Sorry about the accusations
GM Cotton getting eating humble pie to Commish ShowNo
….there is a job going at SALT nightclub for a bouncer , maybe should let Kurt Thomas know as he'll have a lot of time on his hands this season cos none of that time will be GAMETIME!
GM E-Mac taunting GM Fredman after some derogatory comments were made about the Worthy Extensions.
Westside niggas getting rowdy! Eastside niggas getting violent!
GM E-Mac commenting on the feisty start to the season
c'mon Cleetus!
GM Fredman stirring up GM Braun for selecting 3 Small Forwards
Collusion
GM Braun attempting to save face that he planned to fark up the draft
here comes Vinny boy
GM Braun’s interesting GBL lexicon describing V.Baker putting Indiana away the night before
As long as during timeouts he is sucking down gatorade and not drinks with little umbrellas sticking out the top
GM Hodge’s on why Vin Baker may turn out to be a steal of the draft
Nowitski doing beats, Marion doing breaks and Adbur Rahim scratching decks...booyah!
GM Dunne on the rationale why GM Braun tried to pick up 3 Small Forwards
Isn't TC Izlam a small forward at New Orleans?
GM E-Mac commenting on an album review plagiarized by GM Braun. Udonis Haslem plays for the Heat
I'll smoke any fool who steps to my ride or cuts my coke... Jamal Crawford? What is it with me and shitty point guards called Jamal
GM Smart clearly on the crazy juice in Brazil. Tinsley (Jamal) was also sub-standard for the Makers last year
Sorry about the lateness but I think Mick should be nailed to a cross and we throw rotten tomatoes at him whilst playing all the tracks of the Betty Boo album.
GM E-Mac not showing any mercy for GM Entwisle’s salary cap breaches.
I feel sorry for the next bird you root !
GM Hodges on GM E-Mac’s pent up aggression
"Outing other GMs" ---hmmmmm-okay -- GM Entwisle IS gay!!!
GM E-Mac commenting on Commish ShowNo’s self-regulation policy for subbing injured players
Give Brauny a call on 0055-Small-Forward
Or 1800-VINNIE-BOY
GM E-Mac & GM Dunne giving more shtick to GM Braun
if he fails to comply we find out where he lives and bust slugs in his chest until he has the letters "GBL" formed nicley across his chest.
GM E-Mac on how to deal with the GBL Intruder
Nov 17, 2003.
Reuters – AAP - Al Jazeera
NASDAQ (GBL)
Confounding critics and naysayers, silencing threats of team withdrawals and avoiding the very real prospect of a DNP CD, the much talked about, often maligned 2003/04 GBL season finally kicked off last week, greeted with a collective sigh of relief from sporting fans around the globe.
A stake was finally and firmly put in the ground after much to’ing and (a)fro’ing and the the GBL was to finally have its draft day in the sun. There was still the very real risk that founding members GM Wald and GM Entwisle may not be able to make the competition this year, however the stars managed to align and all GM’s heeded the call to arms.
The Jacuzzi was heated, bubbly on ice and extra-phat blunts rolled as the draft took place at GM Dunne’s gangsta-pad in the re-located GBL Headquarters, downtown St. Kilda, on the night of Nov 11 at 8.30pm EDST, 3.30pm Punjabi time, 7.30am Brazillian punani time, 10.30am UK Pint time and 11.30am Amsterdamaged time; but does time really exist in Amsterdam anyway.
After calls by outgoing Commish Entwisle for an ‘efficient’ draft to take place (clearly finding it difficult to relinquish his dictatorial grip over the league), Commissioner ShowNo was sworn in, blew a line of coke (the GBL equivalent of smashing vintage champagne across the bow of a new ocean liner) and declared the season to be “ORN”.
This year’s draft was no ordinary affair and for the first time spanned four continents – Sth America, Asia, Australia and Europe. A tenth franchise was also added to the GBL’s burgeoning ranks, fronted by notorious beer swilling, womanizing London underworld figure GM Hodges, of the ‘Hodges Shuffle’ fame, who now fronts the up and coming NWH outfit (Niggaz wit’ Hops). Loaded with young talent in the locker room, and his players on the court aren’t bad either, GM Hodges hopes the boys will be taking care of business on the floor, whilst he takes care of business on the team bench press. Artest and O’Neal form the nucleus of a squad that won’t back down from a challenge, and you know this team will be one to watch (GM Hodges supposedly videotaping his exploits for distribution across the internet).
Not everything ran smoothly for the more experienced GM’s on draft night. We had one false start from GM Base in Brazil, who turned up 24 hrs early for the draft and had to therefore endure two 7.30am mornings with a pounding head and a corroding nasal cavity. Whilst there are some definite stars in the “Makers”, injuries to Elton Brand and just recently to young gun Jamal Crawford, as well as a worrying FG% from Vinsanity have held this team back from reaching its potential. Will GM Base be able to weave the magic he wove last year when he was in a similar position at the rear of the field, only to make a late surge for the title after picking up some quality players in the first draft.
GM Wald also found draft night a challenge and had to make selections from bed, finding it difficult to get up these days for anything other than to slide the bong or the bedpan a little closer to his bedside. GM Wald’s Amsterdamaged outfit, drafted in part by proxy, is an exciting, young, run & gun team, anchored in the middle by the man you don’t want shooting free throws for your life – S. O’Neal. Manchild A. Stoudamire is yet to fully reach his potential after claiming last year’s Rookie of the Year honours, whilst this year’s hot favourite – Lebron - is looking very good early. Sometime in this young man’s career he may go close to averaging a triple double – unfortunately for GM Wald it won’t be this year. From last reports, GM Wald was still getting his stomach pumped and still has no idea who is in his team.
GM Braun also managed to get confused and was unable to make it 2km down the road to attend the draft in person. It was still an interesting night for GM Braun, who tried to take a leaf out of Mark Cuban’s book and looked to form his own ‘small ball’ team, attempting to draft 3 Small Forwards. The move failed dismally, but GM Braun did manage to save some face, drafting everyone’s favourite party man “Vinnie Boy” Baker. The Wannabees have managed to hold their ground reasonably well so far, but a lot more research and team preparation will be required to salvage what is already looking like a shaky season. GM Braun, known as the laziest GM in the league due to his lack of preparation and basketball nous, needs to make some drastic changes and fast if he is to make any kind of challenge this season.
GM’s E-Mac and S-Tac, true to form, turned up to the draft night higher than the proverbial pig in space which made for an interesting draft order selection process.
When the ping pong balls finally dropped, the lucky Pick #1 went to the new Commissioner, GM ShowNo who wasted no time in selecting his franchise player Mr Efficiency – Tim Duncan. Few surprises emerged throughout the rest of the draft, although there were murmerings of scandal after GM S-Tac found his statistical macros and 12 sheets of GBL analysis had been tampered with. Coveted rookie LeBron James went toward the end of the third round with pick #29 to GM Wald, GM S-Tac shedding a quiet tear, whilst Kobe Bryant went pick #20, dropping from pick #10 last year due to his involvement in a rape case and the possibility that he will be seeing more minutes in a Colorado Court than on the Lakers home floor.
On paper, GM Entwisle’s team looks the strongest, although there are murmurings of disgruntlement throughout the league with his subbing of confessed Rageaholic (coz he’s addicted to Rageahol) – Rasheed Wallace – in place of the injured Chris Webber. This deal looks to have the fingerprints of disgraced ex-president John Elliot all over it, who has clearly taught GM Entwisle the art of dubious salary cap dealings. An official enquiry is still in progress whilst the Halves & Doubles find themselves in foreign territory – the middle of the table.
GM S-Tac has managed to put some daylight between himself and the rest of the league, thanks mostly in part to Sleepy McGrady waking from his funk and lighting up for 51pts during the week – a season and league high. The Shard and B. Diddy Davis are also putting in very strong performances early, although consistency of the OG’s is still to be proven in this very long GBL season. Things will be interesting when Mashburn returns, as B.Diddy’s numbers are expected to decline. Dampier and Boozer continue to overachieve.
Surprisingly, GM E-Mac finds himself in unfamiliar territory running 2nd in the standings. Zac Randolph has been strong (thank God he poached him from GM S-Tac’s clutches), Ilgauskas has shown very solid form and The Answer is still strapped with gats, spraying shots like he was on the corner of Florence and Crenshaw on a Friday night. Luckily for other GMs, most of his shots never hit their mark but he can still drop the occasional 40pt game on your ass when you least expect it.
GM Dunnes No Honkie’s outfit has again drafted a honky in Brad Miller and the team name is fast becoming a farce. Luckily this honkie got game and rounds out a very solid looking outfit of KG, K-Mart, J. Terrry and Big Ups to my nigga Billups, who is performing admirably this last week and rarely misses from the stripe. Expect the No Honkies to be around the top 3 leader board come the end of the season with a lot of smart money going on the ‘Honkies’ to win the whole thing….again.
ShowNo got Upside Everyone’s Head when he landed the first pick in the draft and TD has provided the bedrock for a solid team. Sleeper Kirilenko also looks strong and this team will be up for the challenge each and every night. Kobe is still yet to hit his stride, but when the knee fully recuperates you can imagine his current scoring average won’t stay at 21ppg for too long (he was averaging over 30ppg last season). Still some upside left with this outfit, although they do look a little weak at PG and Coaching positions.
GM Fredman again heads a team that keeps the cellar dwellers company. Rumour has it he has given the team a verbal spray and has hinted that no-one is inexpendable, all five players being up for review in the next draft. Some pundits are claiming that GM Fredman is too closely wound into the fabric at St. Kilda FC, the New York Knicks and now the ‘Sky Hooks’, creating a culture of incompetence that has become ingrained. The league’s perennial basketcase, it is common opinion that more than player changes are needed here, and the change must start from the top down.
All in all, a very interesting 1st week for the GBL. Many are eagerly looking to the first draft to fine tune their rosters. It has been ‘pencilled’ in for Monday December 15 at this stage which should hopefully avoid clashing with any Christmas parties.
Next week’s wrap courtesy of GM Wald.
I love this game.
Commish ShowNo
Quotable Quotes from the Week :
FARK! Can't get Messenger to work. What round you up to?
GM Base on email to Commish ShowNo. A day before the draft.
Shit, fool, back to bed...
GM Base on email to Commish ShowNo after realizing his fark up.
I COMPLETELY DISAGREE.
GM Cotton – confused – makes a bold, incorrect statement about when a team could be loaded into the system.
Unfortunately you can't fine GM's for stupidity.
Commish Show resisting calls to fine GM Cotton for foot in mouth syndrome.
Sorry about the accusations
GM Cotton getting eating humble pie to Commish ShowNo
….there is a job going at SALT nightclub for a bouncer , maybe should let Kurt Thomas know as he'll have a lot of time on his hands this season cos none of that time will be GAMETIME!
GM E-Mac taunting GM Fredman after some derogatory comments were made about the Worthy Extensions.
Westside niggas getting rowdy! Eastside niggas getting violent!
GM E-Mac commenting on the feisty start to the season
c'mon Cleetus!
GM Fredman stirring up GM Braun for selecting 3 Small Forwards
Collusion
GM Braun attempting to save face that he planned to fark up the draft
here comes Vinny boy
GM Braun’s interesting GBL lexicon describing V.Baker putting Indiana away the night before
As long as during timeouts he is sucking down gatorade and not drinks with little umbrellas sticking out the top
GM Hodge’s on why Vin Baker may turn out to be a steal of the draft
Nowitski doing beats, Marion doing breaks and Adbur Rahim scratching decks...booyah!
GM Dunne on the rationale why GM Braun tried to pick up 3 Small Forwards
Isn't TC Izlam a small forward at New Orleans?
GM E-Mac commenting on an album review plagiarized by GM Braun. Udonis Haslem plays for the Heat
I'll smoke any fool who steps to my ride or cuts my coke... Jamal Crawford? What is it with me and shitty point guards called Jamal
GM Smart clearly on the crazy juice in Brazil. Tinsley (Jamal) was also sub-standard for the Makers last year
Sorry about the lateness but I think Mick should be nailed to a cross and we throw rotten tomatoes at him whilst playing all the tracks of the Betty Boo album.
GM E-Mac not showing any mercy for GM Entwisle’s salary cap breaches.
I feel sorry for the next bird you root !
GM Hodges on GM E-Mac’s pent up aggression
"Outing other GMs" ---hmmmmm-okay -- GM Entwisle IS gay!!!
GM E-Mac commenting on Commish ShowNo’s self-regulation policy for subbing injured players
Give Brauny a call on 0055-Small-Forward
Or 1800-VINNIE-BOY
GM E-Mac & GM Dunne giving more shtick to GM Braun
if he fails to comply we find out where he lives and bust slugs in his chest until he has the letters "GBL" formed nicley across his chest.
GM E-Mac on how to deal with the GBL Intruder
Friday, November 14, 2003
This Fantasy Forum Gem
I have Ray Allen, Elton Brand, and Chris Webber on my team.
I have done nothing to deserve this. Make them play or I will cry.
Andrew, Sacramento
Fantasy Forum: Time to break out the tissues.
I have done nothing to deserve this. Make them play or I will cry.
Andrew, Sacramento
Fantasy Forum: Time to break out the tissues.
Wednesday, October 29, 2003
Family Feud
ESPN.com - NBA - Kobe on Shaq: 'Childlike selfishness and jealousy'
Fiery words .....
The transcript of Kobe Bryant's interview with ESPN's Jim Gray:
GRAY: What was your reaction to Shaq saying the Lakers are his team, and everybody knows it?
BRYANT: It doesn't matter whose team it is. Nobody cares. I don't, Karl [Malone] doesn't, Gary [Payton] doesn't, and our teammates and the fans don't either. There's more to life than whose team this is. But this is his team, so it's time for him to act like it. That means no more coming into camp fat and out of shape, when your team is relying on your leadership on and off the court. It also means no more blaming others for our team's failure, or blaming staff members for not overdramatizing your injuries so that you avoid blame for your lack of conditioning. Also, "my team" doesn't mean only when we win; it means carrying the burden of defeat just as gracefully as you carry a championship trophy.
Where do you expect Kobe Bryant to be a year from today?
With the Lakers
With another team
In legal trouble
GRAY: Do you consider Shaq to be a leader?
BRYANT: Leaders don't beg for a contract extension and negotiate some 30 million [dollars] plus per year deal in the media when we have two future Hall of Famers playing here pretty much for free. A leader would not demand the ball every time down the floor when you have the three of us [Malone, Payton, Bryant] playing beside you, not to mention the teammates you have gone to war with for years -- and, by the way, then threaten not to play defense and rebound if you don't get the ball every time down the floor.
GRAY: Shaq says that you have not been a team player. Is he right?
BRYANT: That's ridiculous. I have been successfully sacrificing my game for years for Shaq. That's what Phil [Jackson] wanted me to do, so I did it. Last year Phil told me Shaq was not in physical condition to carry the trust of our offense, so he asked me to do it. But then he saw Shaq was getting upset that the team wasn't running through him, so Phil asked me to pull back and I did. This year is no different; my role is whatever Phil wants it to be. Period.
GRAY: Through out the preseason, your leg and conditioning has been lagging. Are you in the proper shape to start the season?
BRYANT: My knee is not strong enough to play yet. I know it. When it is I will play.
GRAY: Does that mean you will miss the opener [Tuesday] night and other games?
BRYANT: I probably won't play tomorrow night or until I'm ready. But I don't need Shaq's advice on how to play hurt. I've played with IVs before, during and after games. I've played with a broken hand, a sprained ankle, a torn shoulder, a fractured tooth, a severed lip, and a knee the size of a softball. I don't miss 15 games because of a toe injury that everybody knows wasn't that serious in the first place.
GRAY: Kobe, Shaq said if you didn't like what he had to say you can opt out and leave next season. Will you leave the Lakers?
BRYANT: I won't make that decision until the end of the season. I told Shaq last year that I was planning on opting out. He knew before anyone. I told him out of respect for what we have been through together. I thought he should be the first to know. The fact that he acts like this is such a big shock is a mystery to me. If leaving the Lakers at the end of the season is what I decide, a major reason for that will be Shaq's childlike selfishness and jealousy.
GRAY: Do you feel Shaq has been supportive in regards to your legal situation?
BRYANT: He is not my quote unquote "big brother." A big brother would have called to lend his support this summer. I heard absolutely nothing from him. I spoke to Devean [George], Rick [Fox], Mitch [Kupchak], Phil, and our owner Jerry Buss. And Shaq's own Uncle Jerome called and left three messages. Other teammates like Derek [Fisher], Mark [Madsen], and [Stanislav Medvedenko] left messages as well. Opponents called like [Chris] Webber, [Mike] Bibby, and many others. So did a lot of coaches. Michael Jordan, who didn't have my home phone, tracked it down to lend his support. So did Tiger Woods. But yet from my so-called big brother, I heard nothing.
GRAY: Why not resolve this behind closed doors? Why is this so public?
BRYANT: I asked Phil on Sunday [yesterday] to say something to calm this situation down before it boiled over. But he backed away, so now here we are. I have been a bigger person every time something happened with Shaq, and I don't expect this to be any different. But somebody in this organization had to speak up, because his unprofessionalism hurt us last year, and I don't want it to hurt us this year.
Fiery words .....
The transcript of Kobe Bryant's interview with ESPN's Jim Gray:
GRAY: What was your reaction to Shaq saying the Lakers are his team, and everybody knows it?
BRYANT: It doesn't matter whose team it is. Nobody cares. I don't, Karl [Malone] doesn't, Gary [Payton] doesn't, and our teammates and the fans don't either. There's more to life than whose team this is. But this is his team, so it's time for him to act like it. That means no more coming into camp fat and out of shape, when your team is relying on your leadership on and off the court. It also means no more blaming others for our team's failure, or blaming staff members for not overdramatizing your injuries so that you avoid blame for your lack of conditioning. Also, "my team" doesn't mean only when we win; it means carrying the burden of defeat just as gracefully as you carry a championship trophy.
Where do you expect Kobe Bryant to be a year from today?
With the Lakers
With another team
In legal trouble
GRAY: Do you consider Shaq to be a leader?
BRYANT: Leaders don't beg for a contract extension and negotiate some 30 million [dollars] plus per year deal in the media when we have two future Hall of Famers playing here pretty much for free. A leader would not demand the ball every time down the floor when you have the three of us [Malone, Payton, Bryant] playing beside you, not to mention the teammates you have gone to war with for years -- and, by the way, then threaten not to play defense and rebound if you don't get the ball every time down the floor.
GRAY: Shaq says that you have not been a team player. Is he right?
BRYANT: That's ridiculous. I have been successfully sacrificing my game for years for Shaq. That's what Phil [Jackson] wanted me to do, so I did it. Last year Phil told me Shaq was not in physical condition to carry the trust of our offense, so he asked me to do it. But then he saw Shaq was getting upset that the team wasn't running through him, so Phil asked me to pull back and I did. This year is no different; my role is whatever Phil wants it to be. Period.
GRAY: Through out the preseason, your leg and conditioning has been lagging. Are you in the proper shape to start the season?
BRYANT: My knee is not strong enough to play yet. I know it. When it is I will play.
GRAY: Does that mean you will miss the opener [Tuesday] night and other games?
BRYANT: I probably won't play tomorrow night or until I'm ready. But I don't need Shaq's advice on how to play hurt. I've played with IVs before, during and after games. I've played with a broken hand, a sprained ankle, a torn shoulder, a fractured tooth, a severed lip, and a knee the size of a softball. I don't miss 15 games because of a toe injury that everybody knows wasn't that serious in the first place.
GRAY: Kobe, Shaq said if you didn't like what he had to say you can opt out and leave next season. Will you leave the Lakers?
BRYANT: I won't make that decision until the end of the season. I told Shaq last year that I was planning on opting out. He knew before anyone. I told him out of respect for what we have been through together. I thought he should be the first to know. The fact that he acts like this is such a big shock is a mystery to me. If leaving the Lakers at the end of the season is what I decide, a major reason for that will be Shaq's childlike selfishness and jealousy.
GRAY: Do you feel Shaq has been supportive in regards to your legal situation?
BRYANT: He is not my quote unquote "big brother." A big brother would have called to lend his support this summer. I heard absolutely nothing from him. I spoke to Devean [George], Rick [Fox], Mitch [Kupchak], Phil, and our owner Jerry Buss. And Shaq's own Uncle Jerome called and left three messages. Other teammates like Derek [Fisher], Mark [Madsen], and [Stanislav Medvedenko] left messages as well. Opponents called like [Chris] Webber, [Mike] Bibby, and many others. So did a lot of coaches. Michael Jordan, who didn't have my home phone, tracked it down to lend his support. So did Tiger Woods. But yet from my so-called big brother, I heard nothing.
GRAY: Why not resolve this behind closed doors? Why is this so public?
BRYANT: I asked Phil on Sunday [yesterday] to say something to calm this situation down before it boiled over. But he backed away, so now here we are. I have been a bigger person every time something happened with Shaq, and I don't expect this to be any different. But somebody in this organization had to speak up, because his unprofessionalism hurt us last year, and I don't want it to hurt us this year.
Tuesday, October 28, 2003
101 - Dispute Resolution the Eddie Griffin Way
InsideHoops - NBA Rumors:
"'A woman who claimed she was beaten and shot at by Houston Rockets forward Eddie Griffin is denying allegations that the confrontation began when she forced her way into his home, an attorney acting as her spokesman said. 'She had been invited over,' Edward Chernoff said Sunday. 'When she came over -- I think maybe the timing was poor -- Mr. Griffin was with somebody else and he became angry with her.' "
"'A woman who claimed she was beaten and shot at by Houston Rockets forward Eddie Griffin is denying allegations that the confrontation began when she forced her way into his home, an attorney acting as her spokesman said. 'She had been invited over,' Edward Chernoff said Sunday. 'When she came over -- I think maybe the timing was poor -- Mr. Griffin was with somebody else and he became angry with her.' "
Willie Lands Him In Trouble
InsideHoops - NBA Rumors:
Former NBA player Willie Anderson, who played most of his nine-year career with the Spurs, lost almost all the $1.75 million he received on his 10-year deferred contract to the IRS and three women who filed child-support claims. The IRS and the three women reached an agreement in September on how to split the $175,000 the Spurs are supposed to pay Anderson each January for nine years. During court hearings in 2000, it was revealed Anderson fathered at least nine children by seven women
Former NBA player Willie Anderson, who played most of his nine-year career with the Spurs, lost almost all the $1.75 million he received on his 10-year deferred contract to the IRS and three women who filed child-support claims. The IRS and the three women reached an agreement in September on how to split the $175,000 the Spurs are supposed to pay Anderson each January for nine years. During court hearings in 2000, it was revealed Anderson fathered at least nine children by seven women
Kobe vs O'Neal : Grab your Glocs
L.A. Daily News - Sports: "O'Neal, pressed about whose team the Lakers really were, didn't hesitate to claim full ownership.
'Yeah (it's my team). Everybody knows that,' O'Neal said. 'You guys may give it to (Bryant) like you've given him everything else his whole lifetime, but this is The Diesel's ship.'"
'Yeah (it's my team). Everybody knows that,' O'Neal said. 'You guys may give it to (Bryant) like you've given him everything else his whole lifetime, but this is The Diesel's ship.'"
Tuesday, October 21, 2003
"Look Mum - No Hands" - D. Rodman
reviewjournal.com -- News: Police: Rodman wrecks cycle, is cited on suspicio...
"He was popping wheelies up and down the street," said Las Vegas police spokeswoman Carla Alston Alston. Rodman was bleeding from "big cuts in his shins," after crashing the bike outside the front of 'Treasures' strip club. The motorcycle was about 15 feet away.
A manager at Treasures who identified himself as "Uncle Mike" Goldberg said Rodman hit a pole and might have suffered a broken ankle. "He was definitely on the crazy juice tonight".
Rodman, he said, is known to convert several hundred dollars into singles and generously reward the strippers on stage.
"As a girl dances, he's throwing singles all over the place," Goldberg said.
"It has been two years going nuts, partying, and in the last four months I've lost 18 pounds, and I am getting mentally prepared to return to the NBA," Rodman told reporters in July.
Earlier this month, the Denver Nuggets said they were considering bringing Rodman in for a tryout.
"He was popping wheelies up and down the street," said Las Vegas police spokeswoman Carla Alston Alston. Rodman was bleeding from "big cuts in his shins," after crashing the bike outside the front of 'Treasures' strip club. The motorcycle was about 15 feet away.
A manager at Treasures who identified himself as "Uncle Mike" Goldberg said Rodman hit a pole and might have suffered a broken ankle. "He was definitely on the crazy juice tonight".
Rodman, he said, is known to convert several hundred dollars into singles and generously reward the strippers on stage.
"As a girl dances, he's throwing singles all over the place," Goldberg said.
"It has been two years going nuts, partying, and in the last four months I've lost 18 pounds, and I am getting mentally prepared to return to the NBA," Rodman told reporters in July.
Earlier this month, the Denver Nuggets said they were considering bringing Rodman in for a tryout.
Tuesday, October 14, 2003
Could you think of anything more boring
I remember the frustration of Bill Laimbeer, former Detroit Pistons basketball star, when he ran a corrugated box business after his playing days were over. Ummm....corrugated box business !!!! I am sure 'the Simpsons' did a piss take of this when Bart's class had an "exciting" field trip to the 'box' factory. Sheeesh - what kind of inspiration hit one of the more colourful players in the league to go into such a dull business.
"I had the greatest plans in the world," said Laimbeer, who hired university professors to teach his philosophy of team-based problem solving and employee rewards and recognition. But his workers balked. "They wanted nothing to do with it," Laimbeer said. "They kept telling me it was a trick to get them to work harder."
Laimbeer's box business failed. This year he became coach of the Detroit Shock women's basketball team, the players bought into his philosophy, and together they won a championship. Nice one Bill - stick to what you know.
"I had the greatest plans in the world," said Laimbeer, who hired university professors to teach his philosophy of team-based problem solving and employee rewards and recognition. But his workers balked. "They wanted nothing to do with it," Laimbeer said. "They kept telling me it was a trick to get them to work harder."
Laimbeer's box business failed. This year he became coach of the Detroit Shock women's basketball team, the players bought into his philosophy, and together they won a championship. Nice one Bill - stick to what you know.
HandBrake Harry Beware - Bol plans to become a licensed jockey
More weirdness out of the US.....
Manute Bol, the 7-foot-7 former NBA player from the Sudan, plans to follow his brief stints in hockey and boxing with a venture into horse racing.
Hoosier Park announced Friday that Bol plans to "become the world's tallest jockey" on Oct. 18.
It would not be the first time Bol has taken up a new sport in a promotion to support his Ring True Foundation, which raises money and awareness about problems in the civil war-torn Sudan.
On Nov. 12, 2002, Bol, who was known for blocking shots and shooting 3-pointers, agreed to terms to play with the Indianapolis Ice of the Central Hockey League. Four days later, he suited up for a home game, sitting behind the bench until his arthritic feet began to swell in his custom-made skates. He was out of uniform after one period of the game, which drew a season-high crowd of 5,859 to Conseco Fieldhouse. He did not return to the team.
Bol also once competed in Fox TV's Celebrity Boxing show and beat former NFL player William ``The Refrigerator'' Perry in a bout. Bol agreed to take part, so long as Fox agreed to air a toll-free number for the Ring True Foundation.
A member of the Dinka tribe, Bol was a second-round draft pick of the Washington Bullets in 1985.
He played 11 seasons in the NBA with four teams, blocking more shots per minute than anyone in league history. He retired from in 1995 after averaging 2.6 points and 4.2 rebounds in his career.
Manute Bol, the 7-foot-7 former NBA player from the Sudan, plans to follow his brief stints in hockey and boxing with a venture into horse racing.
Hoosier Park announced Friday that Bol plans to "become the world's tallest jockey" on Oct. 18.
It would not be the first time Bol has taken up a new sport in a promotion to support his Ring True Foundation, which raises money and awareness about problems in the civil war-torn Sudan.
On Nov. 12, 2002, Bol, who was known for blocking shots and shooting 3-pointers, agreed to terms to play with the Indianapolis Ice of the Central Hockey League. Four days later, he suited up for a home game, sitting behind the bench until his arthritic feet began to swell in his custom-made skates. He was out of uniform after one period of the game, which drew a season-high crowd of 5,859 to Conseco Fieldhouse. He did not return to the team.
Bol also once competed in Fox TV's Celebrity Boxing show and beat former NFL player William ``The Refrigerator'' Perry in a bout. Bol agreed to take part, so long as Fox agreed to air a toll-free number for the Ring True Foundation.
A member of the Dinka tribe, Bol was a second-round draft pick of the Washington Bullets in 1985.
He played 11 seasons in the NBA with four teams, blocking more shots per minute than anyone in league history. He retired from in 1995 after averaging 2.6 points and 4.2 rebounds in his career.
Wednesday, October 08, 2003
Spurs Sign Hammer
Following in the footsteps of the great man - Andrew Gaze - Shane 'The Hammer' Heal is set to try out and hopefully sign with the San Antonio Spurs. His game should suit the run 'n' gun West and I'm sure he'll get many open looks when the opposing defenders collapse down on The Big Fundamental - Tim Duncan.
Heal is also a quality big game player who doesn't back down from opponents; chesting up to Sir Charles Barkley in a pre-Olympic exhibition game in Salt Lake, Utah in 1996. He definitely won't add to the Spur's "too soft" tag. Wouldn't it be great to see another Aussie grab an NBA Championship ring from out of obscurity.
Heal is also a quality big game player who doesn't back down from opponents; chesting up to Sir Charles Barkley in a pre-Olympic exhibition game in Salt Lake, Utah in 1996. He definitely won't add to the Spur's "too soft" tag. Wouldn't it be great to see another Aussie grab an NBA Championship ring from out of obscurity.
Who's the Bigger 'Flick the Switch' Nigga ?
First GM throwdown before a ball has even gone thru a hoop..... Whoa Yeah !
You talkin about being underground GM Entwisle --- the only time you are underground these days is when you park in the basement car park at work or when you sit on the couch with the good wife and watch the guys on Bardyard Blitz dig holes in someone's lawn -- ouch!
PEACE OUT 2 BROOKLYN
GM MAC (on da attack)
_________________________________________________
oh please... I was listening to and hanging out at hip hop concerts when you were still in primary school. Don't even try to start that shit...you're embarassing yourself
GM Entwisle
__________________________________________________
Oh that's right! You'll miss it on Sunday cos you'll be wrestling crocs and llamas in Nepal. Unlucky Mick -- we'll be having fun and a few phat ones thinking of you... Keep your phone and we'll let you listen to the madness -- yet another hip hop gig you miss!
Gee -- that's Rza, DeLa Soul, Grandmaster Flash and now this -- you AINT hip hop! S_T_U_D_I_O
Disappointed once again by your 'tude -- not good enough!;0
GM MAC -- still loving James Worthy even in 1990 when he paid a hooker and had a wife
PS Gm Entwisle is back in time for Robbie Williams and Duran Duran ---hmmmm.........dodgy!
__________________________________________________
as if that wasn't obvious GM McMolly Meldrum...what else are they gonna do? Let him DJ and just go home to there hotel rooms?
Cmon mate...you need to get out more
You...step outside
GM Entwisle
__________________________________________________
Thanks Crocodile Hunter --Steve Irwin!
The ads only mentioned Guestlove djing but i was just told by a friend who happens to be the EDITOR of Beat that the other guys will get involved and up on stage along with the Mad Professor and possibly even Dexter -- that my friend was not advertised!
Don't Fake the Funk GM Studio aka Cornish aka Whistlebower!
E-Mac version 2.0 -- ginuwinegangstasince'79
__________________________________________________
Gee - great scoop GM Mac....it was advertised in last weeks Beat, Inpress and probably a few other mags. Big Props to our very own Richard Wilkins!!
GM Entwisle
__________________________________________________
Secret Party by ?uestlove & the Roots & J5
That's right fellas E"Scoop"Mac with a lil sumpin sumpin for ya hip hop lovers!
?uestlove & the boys will be having a lil party at the Prince Sunday nite after Livid. Cost is $18
?uestlove djing from 9pm -- YA HEARD IT FIRST!!!
E-MAC version 1.0 -- the original funkateer
__________________________________________________
You talkin about being underground GM Entwisle --- the only time you are underground these days is when you park in the basement car park at work or when you sit on the couch with the good wife and watch the guys on Bardyard Blitz dig holes in someone's lawn -- ouch!
PEACE OUT 2 BROOKLYN
GM MAC (on da attack)
_________________________________________________
oh please... I was listening to and hanging out at hip hop concerts when you were still in primary school. Don't even try to start that shit...you're embarassing yourself
GM Entwisle
__________________________________________________
Oh that's right! You'll miss it on Sunday cos you'll be wrestling crocs and llamas in Nepal. Unlucky Mick -- we'll be having fun and a few phat ones thinking of you... Keep your phone and we'll let you listen to the madness -- yet another hip hop gig you miss!
Gee -- that's Rza, DeLa Soul, Grandmaster Flash and now this -- you AINT hip hop! S_T_U_D_I_O
Disappointed once again by your 'tude -- not good enough!;0
GM MAC -- still loving James Worthy even in 1990 when he paid a hooker and had a wife
PS Gm Entwisle is back in time for Robbie Williams and Duran Duran ---hmmmm.........dodgy!
__________________________________________________
as if that wasn't obvious GM McMolly Meldrum...what else are they gonna do? Let him DJ and just go home to there hotel rooms?
Cmon mate...you need to get out more
You...step outside
GM Entwisle
__________________________________________________
Thanks Crocodile Hunter --Steve Irwin!
The ads only mentioned Guestlove djing but i was just told by a friend who happens to be the EDITOR of Beat that the other guys will get involved and up on stage along with the Mad Professor and possibly even Dexter -- that my friend was not advertised!
Don't Fake the Funk GM Studio aka Cornish aka Whistlebower!
E-Mac version 2.0 -- ginuwinegangstasince'79
__________________________________________________
Gee - great scoop GM Mac....it was advertised in last weeks Beat, Inpress and probably a few other mags. Big Props to our very own Richard Wilkins!!
GM Entwisle
__________________________________________________
Secret Party by ?uestlove & the Roots & J5
That's right fellas E"Scoop"Mac with a lil sumpin sumpin for ya hip hop lovers!
?uestlove & the boys will be having a lil party at the Prince Sunday nite after Livid. Cost is $18
?uestlove djing from 9pm -- YA HEARD IT FIRST!!!
E-MAC version 1.0 -- the original funkateer
__________________________________________________
Tuesday, September 16, 2003
Sorry Ms Jackson - She is Fa Reeeeaal (think Outkast)
The Seattle Times: Seattle Storm: No playoffs, but Jackson can hoist MVP trophy:
A native Australian, Jackson, 22, is the youngest and first international player to win the award. Can you say, "WNBA MVP".
In her new, black Chevrolet TrailBlazer she accepted the "heavy" MVP trophy at halftime of the WNBA Finals along with the $25k. In her acceptance speech, she paid credit to the inspirations in her life - Anthony Mundine. It was his pull-no-punches attitude that she adopted as she took her game up against the ghetto ho's in the WNBA that saw her through to claim the coveted trophy.
Unfortunately, her Seattle Storm (18-16) were bumped from postseason contention with two games remaining in the regular season. But she still managed to snatch the MVP from those other skanky ass beeyatches.
Jackson had a breakout season, including leading the league in scoring (21.2) and recording seven consecutive double-doubles.
Here's a look back at some of her 2003 highlights:
• WNBA scoring leader (21.2 points)
• Fourth in rebounding (9.3)
• Sixth in field-goal percentage (.483)
• Youngest WNBA player to reach 1,500 points
• Youngest to win MVP
• WNBA-tying seven consecutive double-doubles
• Made WNBA-record 17 field goals against L.A.
• Recorded fifth 20-20 game of all-time (23 points and 20 rebounds, a franchise record)
• Made a Storm-record 14 free throws against San Antonio
• Became Storm's all-time leading rebounder
• Scored in double figures in 53 consecutive games, dating to 2002
• Missed one game (sore right foot)
• Averaged 17.2 points in 2002
• Placed 10th in 2002 MVP voting
• Only shot 40.3 percent from field in 2002
• 2003 WNBA MVP
• 2003 WNBA First Team (first time)
• Three-time All-Star
• Three-time 2003 Player of the Week
Jackson, who became the youngest player to score 1,500 points and fourth to record a 20-20 (points-rebounds) game, is part of the youth movement in the league.
"This isn't the best (Jackson) can do," Phoenix assistant Carrie Graf said earlier this season. She has coached Jackson in Australia and Seattle. "Everyone has been talking about her being a phenomenal player since she was 16. Her game is just going to continue to get better."
Well, she is Australian after all. Maybe Brian Gorjian can make a spot available for her in the Boomers lineup. God knows she could teach Tony Ronaldson some post moves.
Good Luck in helping bring the Opals some Gold in Athens.
Yup Yup !
A native Australian, Jackson, 22, is the youngest and first international player to win the award. Can you say, "WNBA MVP".
In her new, black Chevrolet TrailBlazer she accepted the "heavy" MVP trophy at halftime of the WNBA Finals along with the $25k. In her acceptance speech, she paid credit to the inspirations in her life - Anthony Mundine. It was his pull-no-punches attitude that she adopted as she took her game up against the ghetto ho's in the WNBA that saw her through to claim the coveted trophy.
Unfortunately, her Seattle Storm (18-16) were bumped from postseason contention with two games remaining in the regular season. But she still managed to snatch the MVP from those other skanky ass beeyatches.
Jackson had a breakout season, including leading the league in scoring (21.2) and recording seven consecutive double-doubles.
Here's a look back at some of her 2003 highlights:
• WNBA scoring leader (21.2 points)
• Fourth in rebounding (9.3)
• Sixth in field-goal percentage (.483)
• Youngest WNBA player to reach 1,500 points
• Youngest to win MVP
• WNBA-tying seven consecutive double-doubles
• Made WNBA-record 17 field goals against L.A.
• Recorded fifth 20-20 game of all-time (23 points and 20 rebounds, a franchise record)
• Made a Storm-record 14 free throws against San Antonio
• Became Storm's all-time leading rebounder
• Scored in double figures in 53 consecutive games, dating to 2002
• Missed one game (sore right foot)
• Averaged 17.2 points in 2002
• Placed 10th in 2002 MVP voting
• Only shot 40.3 percent from field in 2002
• 2003 WNBA MVP
• 2003 WNBA First Team (first time)
• Three-time All-Star
• Three-time 2003 Player of the Week
Jackson, who became the youngest player to score 1,500 points and fourth to record a 20-20 (points-rebounds) game, is part of the youth movement in the league.
"This isn't the best (Jackson) can do," Phoenix assistant Carrie Graf said earlier this season. She has coached Jackson in Australia and Seattle. "Everyone has been talking about her being a phenomenal player since she was 16. Her game is just going to continue to get better."
Well, she is Australian after all. Maybe Brian Gorjian can make a spot available for her in the Boomers lineup. God knows she could teach Tony Ronaldson some post moves.
Good Luck in helping bring the Opals some Gold in Athens.
Yup Yup !
Friday, September 12, 2003
I Wasn't Asleep at the Post - I was Drunk !
AP Wire | 09/10/2003 | Baker pours himself another and another and another:
Yes - Homer J. may have delivered us that line, but perhaps it is more apt for Celtics forward Vin Baker. I remember reading after the Baker trade was done that the Celts would pay for having sold their soul, and pay they have.
I suspect they will have another ordinary year in '04 and it may well take another year after that to pull themselves out of the bust that was the Baker deal. Unfortunate really, as despite being an avid Piston fan, I actually also like the Celts. Got swept away in the whole Bird & Boston Garden mystique thing.
"I am an alcoholic," Baker told the Globe for a story published in Thursday's editions.
You're drinking too much [is] the biggest problem, and then you're not playing well," Baker told the Globe. "So, it compounds and compounds. The days keep going. Like I learned up at [the hospital], it's always 'Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink.' That's how it was."
Baker, the Celtics and the NBA are working out a program for road games, according to the Globe's report. He will attend AA meetings when he arrives in an NBA city, have a member of the Celtics' organization to turn to, and have counselors to call.
To his credit, Baker says he hasn't touched a drop since Feb 27 when he partook in a bender with GM's Lil Nasty Smoov and S-Tac. "Shiiit, when those boys roll into town, you know you gotta get your C-walk on. Tanqueray, Hennessy, Victoria Bitter....I couldn't get enough!"
"Conditioning-wise, this probably is the best I've been in any of my seasons coming back. Now, it's about just getting on the floor and playing," Baker told the Globe. I personally am a little suspect about this. Perhaps some teams might want to gamble on this, but I would imagine Baker's head is still pretty fragile and even the smallest amount of trash talking might see him break down in tears calling for his counsellor.
It is unfortunate. Baker is/was a talent who may end up on the NBA scrapheap. Drugs & Alcohol to blame again as his names is added to the list. Len Bias, Richard Dumas (a god), Shawn Kemp, Reggie Lewis, Vin Baker.
Baker has three years and about $44 million left on his contract. That should keep him in Gin for a while yet.
Yes - Homer J. may have delivered us that line, but perhaps it is more apt for Celtics forward Vin Baker. I remember reading after the Baker trade was done that the Celts would pay for having sold their soul, and pay they have.
I suspect they will have another ordinary year in '04 and it may well take another year after that to pull themselves out of the bust that was the Baker deal. Unfortunate really, as despite being an avid Piston fan, I actually also like the Celts. Got swept away in the whole Bird & Boston Garden mystique thing.
"I am an alcoholic," Baker told the Globe for a story published in Thursday's editions.
You're drinking too much [is] the biggest problem, and then you're not playing well," Baker told the Globe. "So, it compounds and compounds. The days keep going. Like I learned up at [the hospital], it's always 'Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink.' That's how it was."
Baker, the Celtics and the NBA are working out a program for road games, according to the Globe's report. He will attend AA meetings when he arrives in an NBA city, have a member of the Celtics' organization to turn to, and have counselors to call.
To his credit, Baker says he hasn't touched a drop since Feb 27 when he partook in a bender with GM's Lil Nasty Smoov and S-Tac. "Shiiit, when those boys roll into town, you know you gotta get your C-walk on. Tanqueray, Hennessy, Victoria Bitter....I couldn't get enough!"
"Conditioning-wise, this probably is the best I've been in any of my seasons coming back. Now, it's about just getting on the floor and playing," Baker told the Globe. I personally am a little suspect about this. Perhaps some teams might want to gamble on this, but I would imagine Baker's head is still pretty fragile and even the smallest amount of trash talking might see him break down in tears calling for his counsellor.
It is unfortunate. Baker is/was a talent who may end up on the NBA scrapheap. Drugs & Alcohol to blame again as his names is added to the list. Len Bias, Richard Dumas (a god), Shawn Kemp, Reggie Lewis, Vin Baker.
Baker has three years and about $44 million left on his contract. That should keep him in Gin for a while yet.
Thursday, September 11, 2003
Laimbeer still Smirking
AP Wire | 09/10/2003 | Cooper, Laimbeer Renew Rivalry in Finals:
Bill Laimbeer, Detroit's Bad Boy #1 in the late '80s early '90s, was named WNBA coach of the year this season. "We believe we're going to win," he said of his team, the Detroit Shock, that went from the worst record in the league last season to this year's best. "I've been talking about playing for the championship since the beginning of training camp."
Laimbeer isn't going so far as to predict a sweep of the two-time champion Los Angeles Sparks by the Shock when the best-of-three series opens Friday night at Staples Center.
Laimbeer was a four-time All-Star who scored nearly 14,000 points and grabbed more than 10,000 rebounds in his 14-year career. Outside Detroit, he was reviled as one of the dirtiest players in the NBA. "One of the most hated, I would say," Cooper recalled. Their prickly connection dates to the late 1980s when Laimbeer was one of the Detroit Pistons' "Bad Boys" and Cooper was a defensive standout for the "Showtime" Los Angeles Lakers.
Cooper helped the Lakers beat Laimbeer and the Pistons for the NBA title in 1988. The next year, Detroit and Laimbeer beat Cooper and the Lakers for the first of its two straight titles.
Until Laimbeer became coach of the Shock last season, Cooper hadn't seen his old nemesis since he was doing commentary at a Lakers game five years ago and Laimbeer walked by. "I almost punched him then and I'm pretty sure he was about to punch me, that's why I turned around," Cooper said.
Cooper compared 6-foot-5 Ruth Riley of the Shock to Laimbeer in his heyday. And he sees some of Laimbeer's toughness in WNBA rookie of the year Cheryl Ford, daughter of current Laker Karl Malone.
"Laimbeer probably sat her down and showed her some old film of Rick Mahorn pushing people around and she's getting away with it now," Cooper said.
Television ratings for the finals on ESPN and ABC figure to be helped by the presence of Laimbeer and Cooper.
Bill Laimbeer, Detroit's Bad Boy #1 in the late '80s early '90s, was named WNBA coach of the year this season. "We believe we're going to win," he said of his team, the Detroit Shock, that went from the worst record in the league last season to this year's best. "I've been talking about playing for the championship since the beginning of training camp."
Laimbeer isn't going so far as to predict a sweep of the two-time champion Los Angeles Sparks by the Shock when the best-of-three series opens Friday night at Staples Center.
Laimbeer was a four-time All-Star who scored nearly 14,000 points and grabbed more than 10,000 rebounds in his 14-year career. Outside Detroit, he was reviled as one of the dirtiest players in the NBA. "One of the most hated, I would say," Cooper recalled. Their prickly connection dates to the late 1980s when Laimbeer was one of the Detroit Pistons' "Bad Boys" and Cooper was a defensive standout for the "Showtime" Los Angeles Lakers.
Cooper helped the Lakers beat Laimbeer and the Pistons for the NBA title in 1988. The next year, Detroit and Laimbeer beat Cooper and the Lakers for the first of its two straight titles.
Until Laimbeer became coach of the Shock last season, Cooper hadn't seen his old nemesis since he was doing commentary at a Lakers game five years ago and Laimbeer walked by. "I almost punched him then and I'm pretty sure he was about to punch me, that's why I turned around," Cooper said.
Cooper compared 6-foot-5 Ruth Riley of the Shock to Laimbeer in his heyday. And he sees some of Laimbeer's toughness in WNBA rookie of the year Cheryl Ford, daughter of current Laker Karl Malone.
"Laimbeer probably sat her down and showed her some old film of Rick Mahorn pushing people around and she's getting away with it now," Cooper said.
Television ratings for the finals on ESPN and ABC figure to be helped by the presence of Laimbeer and Cooper.
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
Not again! Rodman released after arrest
ESPN.com - NBA - Not again! Rodman released after arrest
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. -- Dennis Rodman was released Thursday night from jail after being arrested earlier in the day after allegedly being drunk in public.
The former NBA player was arrested Thursday afternoon after police received a call that he was driving his boat in Newport Harbor while under the influence of alcohol.
"When we got there, Mr. Rodman was at the dock next to the (restaurant) attempting to untie the boat. Deputies observed Mr. Rodman fall to the ground," Amormino said. "They interviewed him and determined he was under the influence of alcohol, unable to care for himself or his property."
Outside the jail, Rodman told reporters he fell because he was walking backward. Most likely doing his Michael Jackson' moonwalk routine he was so tanked.
Rodman's agent, Darren Prince, faxed a statement to ESPN that Rodman said "he has not seen his name on TV or in the paper in the past few weeks and thought that people forgot about his NBA comeback. Now I guess they will remember."
NBA Comeback ?? Shiiiit (golly). I love the guy, but fear he won't go into retirement quietly. I sense more and more embarassing Rodman stories are just around the corner.
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. -- Dennis Rodman was released Thursday night from jail after being arrested earlier in the day after allegedly being drunk in public.
The former NBA player was arrested Thursday afternoon after police received a call that he was driving his boat in Newport Harbor while under the influence of alcohol.
"When we got there, Mr. Rodman was at the dock next to the (restaurant) attempting to untie the boat. Deputies observed Mr. Rodman fall to the ground," Amormino said. "They interviewed him and determined he was under the influence of alcohol, unable to care for himself or his property."
Outside the jail, Rodman told reporters he fell because he was walking backward. Most likely doing his Michael Jackson' moonwalk routine he was so tanked.
Rodman's agent, Darren Prince, faxed a statement to ESPN that Rodman said "he has not seen his name on TV or in the paper in the past few weeks and thought that people forgot about his NBA comeback. Now I guess they will remember."
NBA Comeback ?? Shiiiit (golly). I love the guy, but fear he won't go into retirement quietly. I sense more and more embarassing Rodman stories are just around the corner.
Friday, August 29, 2003
Croshere the Man ?!
ESPN.com - Page2 - From a Bird's-eye view
Larry Bird, Basketball Legend and now, conniving President of the Indiana Pacers has managed to isolate his star player in J. O'Neal who has stated he wouldn't have signed with the Pacers had he known Thomas would not have been there to guide the team in '04. Carlisle should do a good job of filling Thomas' shoes, who despite winning 16 more games for the Pacers than in '02, still had many question marks over him for the 2nd half fadeout.
Now all eyes look to Larry's other pet project, Austin Croshere. He was cutting oranges in Isiah's rotation, but will probably have a larger role in the new look Pacers. What that will do for chemistry in a young and petulant team as he takes minutes from more able players like Bender, Artest and Harrington, mixed in with J. O'Neals anger at being duped before signing, doesn't bode well. I expect the Pacers to go backward this year with these changes.
Looks like Larry put another one on Isiah, but it doesn't mean Isiah is out for the count. He is just as conniving and could further rock Larry's plans and Pacer chemistry when J. O'Neal speaks comes to him for guidance during the season.
And the drama continues in Hoosier land.
Larry Bird, Basketball Legend and now, conniving President of the Indiana Pacers has managed to isolate his star player in J. O'Neal who has stated he wouldn't have signed with the Pacers had he known Thomas would not have been there to guide the team in '04. Carlisle should do a good job of filling Thomas' shoes, who despite winning 16 more games for the Pacers than in '02, still had many question marks over him for the 2nd half fadeout.
Now all eyes look to Larry's other pet project, Austin Croshere. He was cutting oranges in Isiah's rotation, but will probably have a larger role in the new look Pacers. What that will do for chemistry in a young and petulant team as he takes minutes from more able players like Bender, Artest and Harrington, mixed in with J. O'Neals anger at being duped before signing, doesn't bode well. I expect the Pacers to go backward this year with these changes.
Looks like Larry put another one on Isiah, but it doesn't mean Isiah is out for the count. He is just as conniving and could further rock Larry's plans and Pacer chemistry when J. O'Neal speaks comes to him for guidance during the season.
And the drama continues in Hoosier land.
Thursday, August 14, 2003
Joe Dumars : A Black Man in a White Man's World
Problems overshadow summer of goodwill
Props to Joe. A role model, NBA Championship winner (can you say 'back to back') and the greatest defender Michael Jordan ever faced.......
Some believe there is resentment from the white public in a predominantly black sport. Joe Dumars is the president of the Detroit Pistons and last season was the only black president of an NBA team, but says color has nothing to do with it. As a player, he was such an exceptional example of a professional athlete that the NBA Sportsmanship Award selected by the media was changed to the Joe Dumars Award.
He and the Pistons won NBA titles in 1989-90 and were nicknamed the "Bad Boys," not exactly what you want to promote, but he has pride in what they accomplished. And back then, in his pre-Madonna years, Dennis Rodman wasn't anywhere near the nuisance he became later in his career.
"I relish what we accomplished as a team," Dumars said. "We had a bunch of strong-willed guys and everyone sort of marched to the beat of their own drum. These days, I say the same thing to every new guy who comes in here: 'Don't ever embarrass yourself, don't embarrass your family and don't embarrass the Detroit Pistons. Handle yourself as a professional, and you'll never have a problem with me.' There are a lot of good guys in this league -- most are good guys. All the resentment comes from all the money they make. That comes with the territory. You don't hear 'If I was black I would do such and such,' you hear, 'If I was making all that I money I would do this, this and this.' "
Props to Joe. A role model, NBA Championship winner (can you say 'back to back') and the greatest defender Michael Jordan ever faced.......
Some believe there is resentment from the white public in a predominantly black sport. Joe Dumars is the president of the Detroit Pistons and last season was the only black president of an NBA team, but says color has nothing to do with it. As a player, he was such an exceptional example of a professional athlete that the NBA Sportsmanship Award selected by the media was changed to the Joe Dumars Award.
He and the Pistons won NBA titles in 1989-90 and were nicknamed the "Bad Boys," not exactly what you want to promote, but he has pride in what they accomplished. And back then, in his pre-Madonna years, Dennis Rodman wasn't anywhere near the nuisance he became later in his career.
"I relish what we accomplished as a team," Dumars said. "We had a bunch of strong-willed guys and everyone sort of marched to the beat of their own drum. These days, I say the same thing to every new guy who comes in here: 'Don't ever embarrass yourself, don't embarrass your family and don't embarrass the Detroit Pistons. Handle yourself as a professional, and you'll never have a problem with me.' There are a lot of good guys in this league -- most are good guys. All the resentment comes from all the money they make. That comes with the territory. You don't hear 'If I was black I would do such and such,' you hear, 'If I was making all that I money I would do this, this and this.' "
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
Robinson cleared of damages, not of Herpes
Clickondetroit.com
You got to feel for a guy like Cliff Robinson. A wily old veteran who has been in the playoffs for as long as I can remember; yet the only press he gets are stories like these. Good to see he wasn't taken to the cleaners by this girl trying to juice him for some of his paper-stack. I didn't realise transmitting a sexual disease was a felony - but in the land o milk and honey - anything is possible.
I would imagine the embarassment is enough damage now that the world knows he has herpes. Cannot imagine what kind of sledging the guy is going to get on the court, let alone in the changerooms. I'd be surprised if the other guys in the team want to share the same shower block with him now.
Chin Up Dawg - let's get the Pistons back to the Finals for one last hurrah !
You got to feel for a guy like Cliff Robinson. A wily old veteran who has been in the playoffs for as long as I can remember; yet the only press he gets are stories like these. Good to see he wasn't taken to the cleaners by this girl trying to juice him for some of his paper-stack. I didn't realise transmitting a sexual disease was a felony - but in the land o milk and honey - anything is possible.
I would imagine the embarassment is enough damage now that the world knows he has herpes. Cannot imagine what kind of sledging the guy is going to get on the court, let alone in the changerooms. I'd be surprised if the other guys in the team want to share the same shower block with him now.
Chin Up Dawg - let's get the Pistons back to the Finals for one last hurrah !
Thursday, August 07, 2003
Who needs Yoda when the GBL have Snoop!
This is da shizzle my nizzles! The ultimate in ghetto dictionaries and you
have your own personal interpreter in the one and only -- Don Corleone aka
Snoop Dogg.
Ask Snoop ANYTHING and let him drawl out a chronic-filled breath of wisdom.
PEACE !
Posted on behalf of Lil' Nasty Smoov
have your own personal interpreter in the one and only -- Don Corleone aka
Snoop Dogg.
Ask Snoop ANYTHING and let him drawl out a chronic-filled breath of wisdom.
PEACE !
Posted on behalf of Lil' Nasty Smoov
(nb. site has been added to the GBL Links)
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Did Kobe commit the crime & will he do the time ?
ESPN.com - NBA - Cuban: Kobe scandal 'great business for NBA':
On Monday, a possible witness may have emerged in the investigation.
Bobby "Four 'n' Twenty" Pietrack, a bellman at the Lodge & Spa at Cordillera, told police that he saw his 19-year-old co-worker shortly after she left Bryant's room on the night of the alleged sexual assault.
Pietrack, wiping tomato sauce from his shirt, reportedly told police that the woman was visibly upset, disheveled and had red marks on her neck and face.
I think Bobby may be barking up the wrong tree here. I normally get those marks too when I tighten the belt around my neck. Being shaken is a normal reaction to being asphyxiated - but jeez what an orgasm !!!
On Monday, a possible witness may have emerged in the investigation.
Bobby "Four 'n' Twenty" Pietrack, a bellman at the Lodge & Spa at Cordillera, told police that he saw his 19-year-old co-worker shortly after she left Bryant's room on the night of the alleged sexual assault.
Pietrack, wiping tomato sauce from his shirt, reportedly told police that the woman was visibly upset, disheveled and had red marks on her neck and face.
I think Bobby may be barking up the wrong tree here. I normally get those marks too when I tighten the belt around my neck. Being shaken is a normal reaction to being asphyxiated - but jeez what an orgasm !!!
Sunday, August 03, 2003
Vandeweghe Industries !!!
Andre Miller, the original Compton G, has signed on with Kiki Vandeweghe's Nuggets. Teamed with Melo and possibly Earl 'The Pearl' Boykins, the Nuggets could indeed be golden next season. Bring on those odds ....
Monday, July 21, 2003
"Screw the Lakers, I wanna Picket Fence" - DuffMan
When the game's on the line........
and time is running out who takes the 'money shot' for the Lakers (I'm sure you can see where this is going dawg)
Kobe, enters the room, penis errect and glow in the dark condom resembling a lazer sword.....he crosses to the bar and downs a tripple Jack.....throws the glass that smashes into the wall just above the right shoulder of the biatch he has hog tied to the bed.......now he spins.....catches a glimpse of the baseball highlights on ESPN before bending over and doing two lines
longer than route 66 off of the latest issue of Shaved Orientals........he straightens......fakes left.....dribbles right (yep dis mu-f*cker suffers from premature ejacul*tion) and manages to rip the connie off and sprays the rug at the foot of the bed after having tripped on his heavily endorsed Nike shoe.
Samaki Walker is disturbed from his tequilla induced coma by the noise, sits up and seeing Bryant's ar*e in the air vibrating as tears of shame and humiliation ripple through his 'skinny a*s' body laughs at Bryant, grabs his car keys and stumbles out the door to head for home.
Payton continues to pork Malone........
F*ck the Lakers !!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------
Neeeegro,
How was the weekend bro ? My weekend was P-H-A-T PHAT.
Friday night started off all innocent like with a dinner to celebrate Brendan's successful attempt to obtain a working permit to Australia. 7% Belgian beers altered the course of te night for good. Upon returning to the house of burlesque which is 60 Shorrolds we continued on the beers and broke out the blunts (who smokes da blunts ? we smoke da blunts) complete with 'the fork' to handle those ever so hot roaches ;)
A couple of drunken phone calls to Stu and Marissa later the and the crew went to bed....but not Duff Man, he saw there was still 3.67 seconds on the clock.
POOM !!!
Here's a guy who needs a two to tie, a three to win, has the time to do either and says....LET'S ROLL THE DICE.
MARV ALBERT : Here comes Duff dribbling the ball down the court, he shoots, he scores -a pint of Pimms and Lemonade. He retires to bed, fires up Abba on the walkman and sinks some more piss.
It's into OT now and another pint of P&L is the offensive play. Now it's Sinatra on the tunes and we go to a third OT. The Pimms play seems to have worn off and now 'Fat' Frank Layden
calls for the picket fence (known in London as the pint of Gin and Lemonade). Now it's Roxette Joyride playing and a sickly collision between Duff and the defensive centre while executing the G&L.
That is a flagrant foul, Mutumbo is outa there (for having a false image of his coolness and not for pole axing Duff) but that doesn't matter to Duff as he is out cold. He awakes several hours later, with flat walkman batteries and a strange concussion with symptoms resembling that of a hangover......
Saturday was spent in rehab (ie : Dukes Head in Putney) as Duff has some ultra sound treatment (replace ultra sound treatment with a bottle of Lucifer's Bride and 2 pints of wife beater).
Duff awoke dry as the proverbial nun's c*nt on Sunday morning but recovered and had some R&R feeding the ducks and enjoying the weather in Hyde Park (replace feeding the ducks with toasted on acid).
Muthaf*ck ! Was that the longest 8 hours of Duff's life?!
Just like Kobe he vows.....never again.
As Kobe has professed his undying love for his wife, Duff has professed his undying love for snakies....and David Hasselhoff.
POOM !
Respec Duff Man
and time is running out who takes the 'money shot' for the Lakers (I'm sure you can see where this is going dawg)
Kobe, enters the room, penis errect and glow in the dark condom resembling a lazer sword.....he crosses to the bar and downs a tripple Jack.....throws the glass that smashes into the wall just above the right shoulder of the biatch he has hog tied to the bed.......now he spins.....catches a glimpse of the baseball highlights on ESPN before bending over and doing two lines
longer than route 66 off of the latest issue of Shaved Orientals........he straightens......fakes left.....dribbles right (yep dis mu-f*cker suffers from premature ejacul*tion) and manages to rip the connie off and sprays the rug at the foot of the bed after having tripped on his heavily endorsed Nike shoe.
Samaki Walker is disturbed from his tequilla induced coma by the noise, sits up and seeing Bryant's ar*e in the air vibrating as tears of shame and humiliation ripple through his 'skinny a*s' body laughs at Bryant, grabs his car keys and stumbles out the door to head for home.
Payton continues to pork Malone........
F*ck the Lakers !!!!!
---------------------------------------------------------
Neeeegro,
How was the weekend bro ? My weekend was P-H-A-T PHAT.
Friday night started off all innocent like with a dinner to celebrate Brendan's successful attempt to obtain a working permit to Australia. 7% Belgian beers altered the course of te night for good. Upon returning to the house of burlesque which is 60 Shorrolds we continued on the beers and broke out the blunts (who smokes da blunts ? we smoke da blunts) complete with 'the fork' to handle those ever so hot roaches ;)
A couple of drunken phone calls to Stu and Marissa later the and the crew went to bed....but not Duff Man, he saw there was still 3.67 seconds on the clock.
POOM !!!
Here's a guy who needs a two to tie, a three to win, has the time to do either and says....LET'S ROLL THE DICE.
MARV ALBERT : Here comes Duff dribbling the ball down the court, he shoots, he scores -a pint of Pimms and Lemonade. He retires to bed, fires up Abba on the walkman and sinks some more piss.
It's into OT now and another pint of P&L is the offensive play. Now it's Sinatra on the tunes and we go to a third OT. The Pimms play seems to have worn off and now 'Fat' Frank Layden
calls for the picket fence (known in London as the pint of Gin and Lemonade). Now it's Roxette Joyride playing and a sickly collision between Duff and the defensive centre while executing the G&L.
That is a flagrant foul, Mutumbo is outa there (for having a false image of his coolness and not for pole axing Duff) but that doesn't matter to Duff as he is out cold. He awakes several hours later, with flat walkman batteries and a strange concussion with symptoms resembling that of a hangover......
Saturday was spent in rehab (ie : Dukes Head in Putney) as Duff has some ultra sound treatment (replace ultra sound treatment with a bottle of Lucifer's Bride and 2 pints of wife beater).
Duff awoke dry as the proverbial nun's c*nt on Sunday morning but recovered and had some R&R feeding the ducks and enjoying the weather in Hyde Park (replace feeding the ducks with toasted on acid).
Muthaf*ck ! Was that the longest 8 hours of Duff's life?!
Just like Kobe he vows.....never again.
As Kobe has professed his undying love for his wife, Duff has professed his undying love for snakies....and David Hasselhoff.
POOM !
Respec Duff Man
"reprinted courtesy of Ben 'Duff Man' Hodges London memoirs"
Sunday, July 20, 2003
I hear the Lakers are looking to fill the '2' spot !
Kobe in more hot water. Likely to get off, OJ style, given his celebrity status. Did he do it ? Yup. Did she want him to do it ? Probably. Did he spank her ass ? I would. Is she using the bruise on her ass, from his spanking, against him ? Most likely. Why ? For that Paper Stack.
Give that brother some hennessy and get off his back. The Laker break just wouldn't be the same without a Bryant finish. If anything, his wife should be giving him an ass whuppin' or taking half his net worth and leavin' the brother !!! Ouch !
Give that brother some hennessy and get off his back. The Laker break just wouldn't be the same without a Bryant finish. If anything, his wife should be giving him an ass whuppin' or taking half his net worth and leavin' the brother !!! Ouch !
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Friday, July 11, 2003
Darko Sits, Pepe Gets Dirty & Kobe works His Charm
Whilst Darko's contract gets ironed out, he cannot participate in Detroit's Summer League Games. It is good to at least see Pepe Sanchez (brother of Dirty) playing well, dishing out seven dimes in Detroit's win over Orlando.
Detroit take on the LeBron-less Cavs tonight. LeBron is sitting as he attends a wedding.
In other news, Kobe is supposed to have talked to and flirted with the alleged victim in the ongoing sexual assault case. I don't know how some aggressive tuning can lead to a sexual assault charge; he is being couselled that his usual pick up line "get down on your goddamn knees" needs to be toned down.
Whilst Darko's contract gets ironed out, he cannot participate in Detroit's Summer League Games. It is good to at least see Pepe Sanchez (brother of Dirty) playing well, dishing out seven dimes in Detroit's win over Orlando.
Detroit take on the LeBron-less Cavs tonight. LeBron is sitting as he attends a wedding.
In other news, Kobe is supposed to have talked to and flirted with the alleged victim in the ongoing sexual assault case. I don't know how some aggressive tuning can lead to a sexual assault charge; he is being couselled that his usual pick up line "get down on your goddamn knees" needs to be toned down.
Pacers O'Neal Locks in for '04
Good to see Jermaine committing early. Indiana could be a big force in the East this season. If Kidd leaves, Indiana and the Pistons should be battling out in the Conference Finals. Good to see O'Neal committing to Isiah Thomas too. Other comments :
• He loves sharing the court with Al Harrington and Jonathan Bender and hopes to play with them for the rest of his career.
• Asked about the point guard situation, O'Neal said simply, "I want to play with the best point guard available."
• And while he acknowledged he's had issues with Ron Artest, he has come around to believing the combustible one is ready to exorcise his demons and play basketball.
Sheeeeeet. (Golly).
Good to see Jermaine committing early. Indiana could be a big force in the East this season. If Kidd leaves, Indiana and the Pistons should be battling out in the Conference Finals. Good to see O'Neal committing to Isiah Thomas too. Other comments :
• He loves sharing the court with Al Harrington and Jonathan Bender and hopes to play with them for the rest of his career.
• Asked about the point guard situation, O'Neal said simply, "I want to play with the best point guard available."
• And while he acknowledged he's had issues with Ron Artest, he has come around to believing the combustible one is ready to exorcise his demons and play basketball.
Sheeeeeet. (Golly).
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
Great link for all the young players to get their flow on !
You gots to check out this link. If you disagree with the description for the word, you can submit your own interpretation and include it into the dictionary.
dee oh dizzle gizzle ma nizzle - - "cant you fuckin read?"
I reckon - 'I bust a nut last night homey'. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yo this is snoop dee oh dizzle gizzle ma nizzle
- "how you spell dogg"
I reckon - 'Recognise! This is SNOOP Double Gizzle Neeegro !'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
urban dictionary.com
I'm adding it to the geto links.......
You gots to check out this link. If you disagree with the description for the word, you can submit your own interpretation and include it into the dictionary.
dee oh dizzle gizzle ma nizzle - - "cant you fuckin read?"
I reckon - 'I bust a nut last night homey'. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yo this is snoop dee oh dizzle gizzle ma nizzle
- "how you spell dogg"
I reckon - 'Recognise! This is SNOOP Double Gizzle Neeegro !'
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
urban dictionary.com
I'm adding it to the geto links.......
Champions in '04 - Lakers or Spurs ??
Aaron Goodwin, the agent for Gary Payton, told ESPN's David Aldridge Tuesday afternoon that Payton has chosen to sign a free-agent contract with the Los Angeles Lakers, despite L.A.'s financial limitations.
The Lakers were limited to offering Payton a starting salary of $4.9 million for next season. It is likely that Malone, seeking his first championship, will also sign with the Lakers for a lot less than he could make elsewhere.
Meanwhile, the Spurs have the ability — and are willing — to give Kidd a six-year, $94.5 million deal, about $5 million less than what the Nets can offer. Any concerns the Spurs may have had about whether Kidd would be a good fit for the team were dismissed after his recent visit.
Aaron Goodwin, the agent for Gary Payton, told ESPN's David Aldridge Tuesday afternoon that Payton has chosen to sign a free-agent contract with the Los Angeles Lakers, despite L.A.'s financial limitations.
The Lakers were limited to offering Payton a starting salary of $4.9 million for next season. It is likely that Malone, seeking his first championship, will also sign with the Lakers for a lot less than he could make elsewhere.
Meanwhile, the Spurs have the ability — and are willing — to give Kidd a six-year, $94.5 million deal, about $5 million less than what the Nets can offer. Any concerns the Spurs may have had about whether Kidd would be a good fit for the team were dismissed after his recent visit.
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
PHOENIX -- Damon Stoudamire, who was arrested on marijuana charges after allegedly trying to pass through an airport metal detector with almost 1½ ounces of the drug wrapped in aluminum foil, was suspended by the Portland Trail Blazers and fined $250,000. Damon commented he just wanted to deliver some of the gear to his granny, who wanted some of that 'sticky, icky icky'. Full Story Here.
"ORLANDO, Fla. -- Orlando Magic guard Darrell Armstrong was arrested early Monday after being accused of fighting with a female police officer outside a nightclub."
When Officer Teresa Joyce tried to get Armstrong out of the street after being declined a taxi, he briefly scuffled with her and other officers before being arrested, police said.
"Don't put your hands on me, that's all I'm saying,'' said Armstrong, whose shirt had a rip. "I only pistol whipped that 'ho - it was nothing.''
Armstrong will appear before court in Orange Country next month.
When Officer Teresa Joyce tried to get Armstrong out of the street after being declined a taxi, he briefly scuffled with her and other officers before being arrested, police said.
"Don't put your hands on me, that's all I'm saying,'' said Armstrong, whose shirt had a rip. "I only pistol whipped that 'ho - it was nothing.''
Armstrong will appear before court in Orange Country next month.
You can grow up to be a Laker, a Doctor, a Lawyer - maybe not a Laker !
EAGLE, Colo. -- Prosecutors need more time before deciding whether to bring charges against Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant, who is accused of sexually assaulting a woman at a resort near Vail last week. Kobe met his future wife, Vanessa Laine in April 2001, on the set of a music video where Laine was working whilst still in high school.
High School ?? Woof Woof Woof.
EAGLE, Colo. -- Prosecutors need more time before deciding whether to bring charges against Los Angeles Lakers star Kobe Bryant, who is accused of sexually assaulting a woman at a resort near Vail last week. Kobe met his future wife, Vanessa Laine in April 2001, on the set of a music video where Laine was working whilst still in high school.
High School ?? Woof Woof Woof.
Monday, July 07, 2003
Geto Boys League Blog for 2003/04 NBA Season
This first GBL blog marks a watershed moment in the GBL's quest for worldwide sporting dominance. It was also timed to coincide with Kobe Bryant's first charge of sexual misconduct. So GBL ....
Soon, all GM's will be able to post to this blog their thoughts on anything NBA, but more importantly, GBL. This site can then be accessed from any GBL GM around the world, for trade offers, profiles of recent recruits, analysis and commentary on recent team performances or just plain sledging. Importantly, it will also keep a record of our posts in archive, if we need to refer to them when handing out GBL justice.
We have the talent to build a great, satirical NBA/GBL blog I reckon. And I should be able to get an upgrade on this hosting site for free which will allow photos and other good stuff to be posted. Now we can really keep track of GM Base's recruiting spree in Venezuela.
So,
GM E-Mac - we want more ghetto prom family portraits
GM Base - Quality Gold
GM Fredman - Weekly Wraps
GM S-Tac - gangsta sh*t
To commemorate this web page launch, it is time to pay respect and give our due to the GBL's previous, esteemed winners :
2000 - J. Dunne "No Honkies"
2001 - D. Wise "Albino Negroes"
2002 - M. Entwisle "Halves and Doubles"
This first GBL blog marks a watershed moment in the GBL's quest for worldwide sporting dominance. It was also timed to coincide with Kobe Bryant's first charge of sexual misconduct. So GBL ....
Soon, all GM's will be able to post to this blog their thoughts on anything NBA, but more importantly, GBL. This site can then be accessed from any GBL GM around the world, for trade offers, profiles of recent recruits, analysis and commentary on recent team performances or just plain sledging. Importantly, it will also keep a record of our posts in archive, if we need to refer to them when handing out GBL justice.
We have the talent to build a great, satirical NBA/GBL blog I reckon. And I should be able to get an upgrade on this hosting site for free which will allow photos and other good stuff to be posted. Now we can really keep track of GM Base's recruiting spree in Venezuela.
So,
GM E-Mac - we want more ghetto prom family portraits
GM Base - Quality Gold
GM Fredman - Weekly Wraps
GM S-Tac - gangsta sh*t
To commemorate this web page launch, it is time to pay respect and give our due to the GBL's previous, esteemed winners :
2000 - J. Dunne "No Honkies"
2001 - D. Wise "Albino Negroes"
2002 - M. Entwisle "Halves and Doubles"
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