and time is running out who takes the 'money shot' for the Lakers (I'm sure you can see where this is going dawg)
Kobe, enters the room, penis errect and glow in the dark condom resembling a lazer sword.....he crosses to the bar and downs a tripple Jack.....throws the glass that smashes into the wall just above the right shoulder of the biatch he has hog tied to the bed.......now he spins.....catches a glimpse of the baseball highlights on ESPN before bending over and doing two lines
longer than route 66 off of the latest issue of Shaved Orientals........he straightens......fakes left.....dribbles right (yep dis mu-f*cker suffers from premature ejacul*tion) and manages to rip the connie off and sprays the rug at the foot of the bed after having tripped on his heavily endorsed Nike shoe.
Samaki Walker is disturbed from his tequilla induced coma by the noise, sits up and seeing Bryant's ar*e in the air vibrating as tears of shame and humiliation ripple through his 'skinny a*s' body laughs at Bryant, grabs his car keys and stumbles out the door to head for home.
Payton continues to pork Malone........
F*ck the Lakers !!!!!
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Neeeegro,
How was the weekend bro ? My weekend was P-H-A-T PHAT.
Friday night started off all innocent like with a dinner to celebrate Brendan's successful attempt to obtain a working permit to Australia. 7% Belgian beers altered the course of te night for good. Upon returning to the house of burlesque which is 60 Shorrolds we continued on the beers and broke out the blunts (who smokes da blunts ? we smoke da blunts) complete with 'the fork' to handle those ever so hot roaches ;)
A couple of drunken phone calls to Stu and Marissa later the and the crew went to bed....but not Duff Man, he saw there was still 3.67 seconds on the clock.
POOM !!!
Here's a guy who needs a two to tie, a three to win, has the time to do either and says....LET'S ROLL THE DICE.
MARV ALBERT : Here comes Duff dribbling the ball down the court, he shoots, he scores -a pint of Pimms and Lemonade. He retires to bed, fires up Abba on the walkman and sinks some more piss.
It's into OT now and another pint of P&L is the offensive play. Now it's Sinatra on the tunes and we go to a third OT. The Pimms play seems to have worn off and now 'Fat' Frank Layden
calls for the picket fence (known in London as the pint of Gin and Lemonade). Now it's Roxette Joyride playing and a sickly collision between Duff and the defensive centre while executing the G&L.
That is a flagrant foul, Mutumbo is outa there (for having a false image of his coolness and not for pole axing Duff) but that doesn't matter to Duff as he is out cold. He awakes several hours later, with flat walkman batteries and a strange concussion with symptoms resembling that of a hangover......
Saturday was spent in rehab (ie : Dukes Head in Putney) as Duff has some ultra sound treatment (replace ultra sound treatment with a bottle of Lucifer's Bride and 2 pints of wife beater).
Duff awoke dry as the proverbial nun's c*nt on Sunday morning but recovered and had some R&R feeding the ducks and enjoying the weather in Hyde Park (replace feeding the ducks with toasted on acid).
Muthaf*ck ! Was that the longest 8 hours of Duff's life?!
Just like Kobe he vows.....never again.
As Kobe has professed his undying love for his wife, Duff has professed his undying love for snakies....and David Hasselhoff.
POOM !
Respec Duff Man
