and for our NZ Franchise

Meanwhile over in NZ, GM Smart has been freezing his nuts off enjoying the Auckland summer. In a recent trip to Melbourne GM Smart dodged the other Melbourne-based GMs, skipping the country with no contact with his former brethren...just shows the depths this GM has sunk to. His team is going shit and his year has only gone downhill since missing the Socceroos historic victory which saw them qualify for the World Cup. The NLCMs are languishing in 10th place (yes, that's not a mis-print) despite strong performances from Dirk Wellham Novitski and Jason Baby Goat Kidd. But with a team comprising other players named Delonte, Lamar, Luol and Deshawn it sounds more like a Jerry Springer guest list than a GBL title contender. Prediction - suicide watch once the NZ winter hits

Cotton-Gate

He creeps through the fog and slips through the smog coz he's the Commish, Doggy Dogg !
---------------------------------------
Commish is smart enough not to leave a paper trail. No documents / emails used... a simple 'untapped' phone call request was made late wednesday night... from a phone booth no doubt! Would love to help, but being the rookie... I'm playing the diplomat card... I vote (shaken) confidence!

-------------------------------------
Looks like GM Entwisle is gunning for a promotion, Showno...
--------------------------------------
I just checked your team and you only did the substitution
yesterday....Brad Miller was never on the inactive list though!!
What's going on??? Please provide an explanation or I'll be passing this onto my superior, GM ShowNo and there could be severe
ramifications for this blatant disregard for the rule....and you're supposed to be the Commish!
Lyle, all historical communications on this matter are hereby
subpoenaed by GBL Internal Affairs...please forward the relevant
emails to the league.This could be Cotton-gate!!
I also just used the Internal Affairs authority and subbed Brad Miller
back in to your team
-----------------------------------
Subject: RE: Brad Miller - Commish cheating!!!


With his super snooping, SMS harassment, IL vigilance and general
enforcement of the GBL's self-regulating model, I am happy to announce

the promotion of GM Entwisle to CEO - GBL Internal Affairs.

BIO:
GM Entwisle was a foundation member of the GBL and has always been at
the forefront calling for the judiciary of the GBL to run its course.

He was a lead advocate for the booting of GM Wise (Wisegate), was
known amongst the GBL power brokers as the string puller behind GM
Fredman's reign - affectionately known as the Iron Fist years - has
challenged just about every Commish ruling ever made and was also a
protagonist in the evolution of the GBL's first constitution after the salary cap fiasco two years back. A long forgotten fact - he also owns a GBL Championship ring. You
might also not know, Mick was cast as an extra in an episode of the
Henderson kids as a child and plays the classical lute.

Congratulations GM Entwisle on a job well done.

GM ShowNo
Chairman - Internal Affairs

-------------------------------------------
Commish, what is going on with Brad Miller? Why is he not in your
team???? He is not on the inactive list, he is not even questionable! When was
Rasheed Wallace subbed into your team and where was the proof that
Miller was inactive????
Please inform the league of your deductions and get him back in!!!
Also, please note that Eddie has achilles tendinitis so take it easy
on him

Friday, Feb 3rd, 2006

Spot the Difference

GBL Wrap #1 - 2006

GBL Melbourne Sub-Branch

Mon 6 Feb 2006

Jyllands-Posten Newspaper Cartoon Department

Denmark

Well, what a GBL season it has been to remember. And, as some GM's have been heard to mutter, what a GBL season it has been to forget. A revolutionary Commish, a runaway leader (Commish), and a scandal the likes of which have not been seen before (Commish-gate). All in all, a huge GBL year for the Commish really.

Not surprising really, when you consider that the pre-season draft selection of the year also belongs to the Commish. Yes, that's right, Chris Paul was snatched from the prying hands of GM Dunne, and propelled to superstardom as a member of the S-Tac O'G's "Invincibles". With Shawn 'cheap cheap' Marion, Pau 'minus the L' Gasol, and the other Paul in their staring line-up, who needs Don Bradman???? Whilst the inclusion of Brad Miller into the O'G's starting line-up was actually due to a macro spreadsheet error, where the GBL was mistaken for AFL Dreamers, the form of this multi-talented Center (Half Forward) has Commish Cotton dreaming of a trip to the Garden as the Salary Cap Winner... And how about the career change for the former Minister for Communications, Senator Rafer Alston???? Dream on Commish, because the mob is out for blood at the moment, and we could find democracy is the new flavour of the month in the GBL soon, Hamas-style. Prediction - disqualification.

The ever-present No Honkies are never too far from the top of the GBL ladder, and this season they have added the X. Having beaten one statutory anal rape charge over his draft dealings with GM Bollywood, the serial pillager of lowly ranked GM's was at it again, this time rookie-style. How else do you explain 2 of the top 4 ranked players in KG and Doug Wade??? Boris '2nd best smoky selection' Diaw and Mike 'Lebrons elder brother' James are feeling it, and throw in Oh Brevin Knight and Andrew Bogan and you have the makings of a silver medal team written all over it. Prediction - Winner by default and an X next to the name of No Honkies

The Blacktop Ballers are surely favourites to take out the rookie GBL team of the year title due to their current position of 3rd place, and their status as the only rookie team of this season. Trading rapes with GM Dunne appears to have done no wrong for this outfit, who many thought may never fully recover from the infamous bathing incident on draft night. B-Diddy and Bosh Spice have been the mainstays of the Ballers, and with the inclusion of Melo and Cuntino, an inaugural bronze medal could be on offer for the Rookie. Prediction - Close 2nd

Not only has XC GM Fredman succumbed twice already this season to the debilitating and inevitable 'draft a knick hack' syndrome, he has also fallen foul of the 'never draft a dud called Jamal' disease, which have seen his ranking tumble out of the medal dais contention and out amongst the other also-rans. Not even the formidable frontcourt of Brand, Duncan and Chris 'the K-man' can make up for the lack of height in new super-recruit Earl Boykins. Prediction - Standard below par performance and heartache for fans.

Franchise the Halves and Doubles, now run under the ever-watchful eye of GM By The Book Entwisle, continue their surge towards May glory, currently occupying 5th position (essentially 4th after the disqualification of GM Cotton) on the GBL table. A team effort is probably the best way to describe the Halves and Doubles mantra, with Chaun-thay Billups leading the way in TSNP's (or VGM's to those using the old system). Big Bad Ben Wallace still manages to swat away anything in sight, and AK-47 is starting to deliver the goods. Jameer Nelson momentarily threatened to take GM Entwisle to the top of the GBL mountain again, although a broken toe-nail put paid to that, thank goodness. Prediction - Taste of Fantasy Sport success again.

GM Internal Affairs Showno is riding Kobe Bryant like an 18 year old Colorado hotel receptionist. Unfortunately for GM Showno, Jermaine O'Neal is not having the sort of season where he can be illegally substituted into his line-up like in previous years, so he has had to make do with the likes of Samuel Camambert, Andre 'I won Wisey a GBL trophy' Miller, and Rowdy Ronny Artest. The wheels have fallen off early Sophomore of the Year favourite TJ Ford, and accordingly, it looks like no amount of cheating can get GM Shownomofo back into contention. Prediction - Will be more successful at Internal Affairs than Richard Gere and Andy Garcia.

Perhaps the ultimate feel-good news story of the season is the announcement of the imminent return of GM Amsterdamaged to the sunny shores of the GBL homeland. Whilst officially concluding that the Dutch GBL experiment was a dud, with poor performances on the GBL court year after year, GBL GM's, particularly those of the married variety, will sadly miss stories told by GM Wald der haar of extravagant, tall, leggy, busomy Swedish tarts. Please bring a few back with you. The Damaged have been damaged by the inclusion of the 11th and 12th players on the rotation at the Heat, White Chocolate and Antawn Walker. Apart from that, the Damaged have done alright. Prediction - A huge turnout at the welcoming home party, especially after learning that the shipment of northern lights and Uncle Charles arrived in Elsternwick as expected.

GM Rossco may be about to lose his fellow continental Euro counterpart to the home of the GBL, but he has already well and truly lost his chance at GBL 05/06 success due to excessive frequent flying and possible mile-high membership, based on previous stories. Not even MVP Nash, Arenas and C-Webb have been able to lift the A-Damn Katastrophes into premiership contention. With only $50K in his pocket, GM Rossco is hamstrung, and intends to spend it on Amsterdam's finest rather than upgrade Ronald Murray at the 6. Prediction - party with this dude if you can.

The arrival of Vinsanity at the Hollywoods, for a No. 1 draft pick, $3m in cash, and a promise to mow GM Dunne's lawn every week for the next year, was greeted with comments by GM Braun about finally arriving in the big league. The only arrival was that of Jose Calderon. Need we say any more. With Vince, LeBraun, Antoine Jamison and Cassell the Alien providing solid TSNP'ing, the Hollywoods are probably due for a managerial clean-out if they ever intend to climb up the table. Prediction - Wally Zessabeck to finally join his rightful home at the next draft. And perhaps a trade for Steven Marbury.

Who would have thought that a GBL team with Amare Stoudemire could be languishing in 2nd last position. Newsflash GM Hodges, he ain't playing at the moment. The GBL's sole British representative is finding out the hard way that Danny Granger (who?) won't win you a GBL flag. After Camby's inevitable back-breaking-in-half incident, the reliance on Paul Pierce at the Duffmans became too much, and the highly agile Speedy Claxton just ain't up to it. Prediction - can't possibly go any lower.

Whilst the Worthy Extensions lay claim to being the worst GBL team at this point in time, they also lay claim to having the only GM who is currently playing NBA. GM Eddie Gordan Giricek Mac is clearly finding the challenges of spending 4 nights a week on the parquetry and juggling a GBL Franchise too much at the moment, and we look forward to the day when the Mac Daddy takes an active involvement in this great competition once again. Perhaps a bit of whiplash might get him interested. Prediction - wear a neck brace.

Well, it has taken weeks of preparation, and careful editing, but finally the 1st wrap of 2006 has been prepared. May all your GBL dreams come true, especially those about Cotton being disqualified.

Respect.

XC