Scotty Hodges Reviews the GBL Season

Well with the NBA season fast approaching the half way mark there has been action a-plenty in both the NBA and the GBL.

Headline events from the NBA include Vince Carter getting his wish and leaving the flat lining Toronto Raptors to team up with Jason Kidd and the injured Richard Jefferson in New Jersey. Phoenix have been what some might say a surprise packet this year and are one of the contenders with Steve Nash at the helm. Those San Antonio Spurs have the best record in the league and will be a force to be reckoned come playoff time and the biggest disappointment in the West has to be the dismal record of the Minnesota Timberwolves who seem to be a shadow of the team they were last year.

Out East things are taking shape as well with both Washington and Cleveland breathing new life into the conference and putting their hands up for playoff births. Shaq has settled in well in Miami who now have a deadly one – two punch with Shaq in the paint and second year sensation Dwayne Wade torching opponents all over the floor.

Those Mo Town Bad Boy Pistons after a bit of a slow start are now beginning to hit their straps and the fans have managed to stamp their claim as the biggest pack of c*nts in the world by brawling with the poor old Indiana Pacers who are suffering with the suspension of Ron Artest for the season and having an underproductive old fart still starting at the two spot.

As for the GBL well things couldn’t really get much more exciting with a mere 13 points separating the top three GMs which is in stark contrast to last season where GM LC stepped on the gas from the opening night and blew the rest of the competition out of the water. Jado’s team are in full flight at the moment arresting the lead from E-Mac with newly acquired Jason Richardson filling the void at SG. E-Mac’s team have been superb to say the least all season with TD at power forward and a backcourt oozing firepower but Mark Blount’s form of late has trailed off in much the same vein as Hodges form at the nightclubs so E-Mac has to light a fire under Blount to keep pace with Jado’s No Honkies and to fend off the challenge from DuffMan’s KG led IhateIversonFanClub. After landing the no. 1 pick in the season starting draft Hodges was already breaking out the Cubans anticipating a big win however this second year GM out of London is learning that there is more to winning a GBL ring than simply landing that giant ugly man at PF. He has also made a mental note never to draft that fcuking waste of cum Gerald Wallace again !

Mate of the day, Father of the year, the Voice of Reason, GM Entwisle has thrown his support behind that giant fried noodle Yao Ming making him the centre piece of his franchise but he needs Corey Maggette back on the court to keep the scoreboard ticking over.
Baseline shot to the top of the ladder early on however has been pegged back by a few GMs but with the recent drafting of the on fire Damon Stoudamire and Predrag Stojakovic still to return from injury is still a threat and could have other GMs looking over their shoulder in the coming weeks. In any event come the season end it will be Base vs DuffMan, Posey vs Wallace as they vie for the Raspberry award for worst draft pick of the season. DuffMan says WHOA YEAH to Baseline’s email of the year for the “for all those who want an early draft I fart in your face” comment (and accompanying attachment) which still has Duff pissing himself whenever he thinks of it.

Then we come to the Whistlerblower, GM Fredman’s Ride ‘em Cam by Tats a team which has undergone a midseason change of Michael Jackson plastic surgery-esque proportion. J-Fred’s team is tucked away quite nicely in the middle of the ladder but as his new players settle and come together as a team he could well rattle a few cages before this season is over.
S-Tac’s OGs come next with the practise court resembling a hospital wing with no less than three of S-Tac’s guys being on the IL. He currently has the magoos filling in at the moment and will be anxious to get B. Diddy, C-Web and sir rapes a lot back on court soon to launch a second half assault on the league.

GMs Bollywood and Rosco are in a battle with the loved-up Commish for the wooden spoon. Earlier this season the Commish advised that he left a turd behind for Brauny as he moved off of the bottom however Brauny has managed to throw it right back at him Gorilla style as the two have swapped places yet again. The Commish will be hoping that Marion keeps on filling it up and that the physically repugnant Sam Cassell can get fit and stay fit to help him move once and for all off of the bottom of the ladder. GM Rosco’s first season in the GBL has been a hard lesson as his team has been ravaged by injury and suspension however he has managed to console himself by having naked women gyrate over him as he watches various sporting events which I hear is a great way to unwind. As for GM Braun’s team, with the return of Kirilenko at small forward and Arenas, McGrady and O’Neal all putting up good numbers the second half of the season could be a whole different ball game for his franchise.

That’s not all yet folks – CONTROVERSY ! CONTROVERSY ! CONTROVERSY !
Julian ‘Sheister’ Sonego has adopted the Minnesota Timberwloves approach to legitimate franchise management and has provided the GBL with enough ammunition to ensure that all 11 inboxes are clogged with emails arguing over his tactics and frequent substitutions. Reeling from the suspension and delisting of Jermaine O’Neal ShowNo has left no stone unturned in an effort to claw back points lost due to Jermaine’s rather pathetic punch to the face particularly fat Detroit fan.

What will happen in the second half of the season ?
Will injury ruin the chances of a GM’s chance at glory ?
Will Jado run away with it again ?
Will S-Tac orchestrate another trade which gives DuffMan a headache as he tries to follow the sequence of moves ?
Just how many GMs will manage to fornicate in various toilet cubicles right the way around the world ?

All these questions and more will be answered so pass the oxygen bottle and settle back into the second half of the season because things are really starting to heat up.

WHOA YEAH !!!!!

GM Duff