GM Fredman Sprays his Gats

Former GBL Headquarters
243 Glen Eira Rd
Downtown Oz
AAP
Close of Business 8-2-2005

In the words of the huge Eddie McGuire, what a huge couple of days it's been for fans of the GBL. First, the inaugural and critically acclaimed wrap prepared by GM Scotty Hodges from way across the Tasman (how'd you go in geography Bollywood???), and now, this piece of absolute rubbish from an angry, disgruntled, upset, anti-Showno former Commish and now just plain old GM.

Where to begin? How about at the top, where the GBL is currently experiencing an old-school dogfight for supremacy amongst 3 GM's. GM JDLC Rings has suddenly surged to outright leadership, which could be a very ominous sign for all other GM's. Obviously Amare doesn't smoke as much green as his shorter brother Damon. Thank goodness Shaqops is shooting only .458 from the stripe! With M. Bibby relishing injuries to C-Webb at the Kings, and J-Rich and Old Man Hill staying solid, this team looks like the franchise to beat. Could we be in the middle of a No Honkies dynasty??? Is Bibby half-honky??? If so, another blatant disregard for Franchise policy should see any Dunne victory scrapped from the history books... Forecast - Disqualified due to Bibby's half-caste status. Appeal pending.

Recently relegated into Arsenal position is the Worthy Extensions franchise, due in no small part to the absence of Vlade from the starting 5. Team captain A.I. Is back to his gangsta best, ably assisted by that other gangsta looking PG Nash... Do we have the winner of the backcourt comp right here! With 'Duncan donuts' underperforming, perhaps Mark Blount will finally get to wear that coveted GBL ring at seasons end... Forecast - Forced by the Commish to re-draft Vlade.
Wheels fall off thereafter.

There's a lotta hate going on at the Duffman's clubhouse, but it seems to be working. That, and the No. 1 lottery selection, which always helps. With KG locked in at bargain basement prices, and sophomore Wade liking what he sees with big shaq daddy, the I Hate Iverson Fan Club seems to be getting more popular with GBL bookies as the franchise to beat. The big question remains: Is Bobby, brother of Phil and Richard, Simmons good enough at SF??? Forecast - Podium finish

Straight Ballin'? Straight lyin' some would suggest. Another season, another GM Showno controversy. As always though, this one seems bigger than the last!!! What started out with perhaps some sympathy for this franchise in the wake of Jermainegate has turned into a possible GBL revolt (is this true or is it just me????!!!!) at the recent cheatin'
actions of this GM. We all know he's a recovering cheater, but we say
enough's enough. With Lebronski playing ball like MJ, Bosh spicing it up at PF, and the rotating Center position working a treat, no-one wants to discount Straight Ballin's chances of taking home the pennant, especially the Commish, who is quite content to be sitting in Showno's very deep pockets for the time being. Forecast - Will form breakaway comp, SuperGBL.

FOTY. MOTD. VOR. SIFP (Sitting In Fifth Position). Mr Consistency, GM Entwisle of the Halves and Doubles franchise, refused to take part in the 1st mid-season draft, however with Corey 'you white' Maggette appearing to be out injured for every bone in his body, and Al Harrington playing worse than his son Junior, some trades might be a possibility in the short term at this team. Bling Bling and Boozer are holding up the frontcourt well, and Starbury is the sole shining light at the Yeouseknicks. Forecast - On the rise and many more sleepless nights ahead.

Confusion reigns supreme at the EU Confusionmakers, mostly in the pronunciation of the frontcourt's surnames. GM Smart by name, Smart by nature has taken heed of the rapid rise of European hoops, and stacked his side full of wogs and dagos. GM Smart is also trying to cash in on the brand name of Stoudemire, although the 'A' in D. Stoudamire might not fool too many in the official Fast Break stats room. Watch out for Prdrag, Pejag, Pregrad... the bloke with the big chocco name, to light it up when he gets traded from the Kings. Forecast - A GBL Victory Parade through the narrow streets of Eastern Europe perhaps?

With Kobe once again hurting his sore appendage, GM Fredman took the opportunity to replace the old dead wood in his lineup with new dead wood. Whilst Chauncey has been credible at PG, the gaping hole at SF, currently being minutely plugged by Lee "who?" Nailon, could be this franchise's downfall. Brand Elton's been strong at SF, Pierce off Jack once again teases with some fine performances, and Camby (new Franchise player) rebounds well when in one piece. Forecast - Out of Serie B relegation zone, and happy about it.

What a shake-up at the O'G's. Trading players, on-trading players, delisting players, drafting injured players, subbing injured players for fresh players, you name it, GM Cotton Pants was doing it. With so much back-office activity, someone forgot to tell his players to play ball, leaving the O'G's in 8th spot, just out of relegation zone. The strong Kings frontcourt of C-Webb and Big Bad Brad Miller might be enough to get this side off the canvas, and back into contention, depending on other tricks up the cotton sleeves of their GM. Forecast - Will take out inaugural GBL award for most off-court GBL trade activity.

GM Bollywood might have just got things right for once. Whilst currently languishing in 9th, the star-studded line-up of Arenas, T-Mac, AK-47, Jermainegate, and Nenad Krstic (on loan from the EU Confusionmakers) is starting to make things happen. It must have had something to do with the turd left in the cellar by Commish Wald. However, watch out for this franchise to implode over the coming months with some stupid trademark moves by GM Braun, including the re-signing of Wally Zeserbek as reserve SF. Forecast - In a tight shoot-out for last place.
Rookie Rossco must be commended for a fine introduction into the big league. Whilst the A-Damn Katastrophe is clearly missing the leadership skills of Michael Finley at SG, his heavily Hudson River packed line-up is loving the move of Vinsanity back to the States. Now, if only Carmelo would stop smoking and shooting, this franchise could do something special. Forecast - should finish in the top 2 Dutch teams in the GBL.

GM Commish 'Google shares' of the Amster Damaged franchise continues to linger in the bottom rungs of the GBL, having learnt nothing from his Serie B relegation defeat last season. With Finley having moved across the hallway from the Rossco franchise, and the false hope placed in the hands of Kurt Thomas at PF, things don't look good down at Neiuwe Zijkes Voeurbeogwal. Forecast - a mid-season change of Commish will free the administrative shackles and lead to 1st place in the Dutch internal competition.

Good night.